Finding Myself

As usual I have many ideas to write about and no time to write them. In fact, right now I should be studying. My finals are next week. However, before finals I have a chapter exam in each class. That means I have four exams in the next two weeks, three of them are in one week. I remember a time when this would have seemed like a drop in the bucket to me. But things have changed. I have a life now. Going back to school is quite a challenge. Still, it's what I want and I want to excel. Or, at least, I want to get a C. My pre-calc course is tough, but I think I'm going to pass. As for my other class, it's kind of a breeze. I have hardly felt challenged at all by it and have spent most class periods enjoying the discussion among the other students. God bless them, but they are not like the kids I knew during my first undergrad. Community Colleges just don't bring in the super intellectuals. Which is okay. I should learn to co-exist with average, typical people.

I ramble.

As I was saying, I am here amid piles of homework and other nonsense. I have picked up an old hobby I used to enjoy. Namely, I find myself baking many, well, baked goods. I perfected a gluten free scones recipe. I have finally made a good gluten free pie crust. I made some cookies too. And yes, I have gained a few pounds. I am also a happier person. There are many reasons I dropped my baking hobby over the last ten years or so. One of them was the difficulty involved in gluten free cooking and baking. Lately my interest in making gluten free baked goods that taste good and have good texture has grown. If I did not want to be a Physician Assistant and if I was totally crazy I'd try selling bake goods to coffee shops. But, like, I'm afraid that people would like them too much and I wouldn't have time for anything else. I want to finish my education (again).

Let me just say that in two weeks I will have some breathing time. I hope to post on several subjects of interest. I knew school would interfere with my time and blogging desire. Bear with me. In the meantime, The House Between is a great independent web tv series I have enjoyed. You have to download Veoh tv to watch it, but it's worth the effort. I expect The House Between will find it's way into my links list on the sidebar (which needs updating) as soon as I get a chance to do some blog maintenance.

A Day In The Life . . .

Going back to school is hard work. I spend a lot of time studying although I am only taking two classes. That is partly because I want to get a good grade and partly because Precalculas is higher math and requires many hours of study to grasp. It would help if my algebra were not so rusty. Sometimes I will be doing a math problem and I will get to a point where I realize that I do not know what to do next. Not because I'm dumb, but because I forgot the next algebraic rule that I needed to remember to keep going. It is times like those that I am thankful for partial credit.

Other things that take up my time are work. I am working at a flower shop. You would not believe the amount of work that goes into getting people their pretty flowers. Those arrangements are worth the high prices, let me tell you. However, I do not intend to speak much of work because I am always cautious about that sort of thing. Suffice it to say I enjoy my job and no, I do not design flower arrangements.

Today I am supposed to do laundry. Actually, yesterday I was supposed to do laundry. Actually, actually, I was supposed to do laundry at the end of last week. Having a washer and dryer in my own home helps, but having to study for multiple tests and keep up with other house cleaning does not help.

I recently wrote the first draft of a short story. Do not ask me how I had time for that. I intend to revise it and get some second opinions. Then maybe I will send the story out to a magazine or something to see about publishing. A little supplemental income would be nice.

I have come up with dozens of rants to write. Taking an Intro to Psychology course with a whole lot of regular people gives me so much material. I simply have little time to write my rants. But as I am sure you are all anxious to hear them I will try to get some written. Also, my holiday monkey Neville seems to have gone missing. That's why I have not announced the Neville Chamberlain award for 2008. I have sent a sleuth known as Detective Scorch (he's a Ty Beanie Baby dragon and charges very high prices for his PI skills) in search of Neville and hope to post the award before the year is half over.

In other news the weather was getting nice and it turned nasty again. I wish spring would stop teasing us Iowans.

What Heros Are Not Made Of

Lights, camera, action. An explosion like a blossom opens into the sky showering the world with debris. There is fire and noise and smoke. The heat of the explosion, you can almost feel it. Except, you're sitting in a cozy, butt-forming chair with your head leaning against the head rest of luxury cinema seating. So, you cannot actually feel the warmth. In fact, it's quite cold around you. That's why you brought your sweater. It is always cold at the theater.

I am as much an action movie fan as the next person. Believe me. I like the spectacular explosions because they are not real so nobody got hurt. Unfortunately, the rest of the movie is not real either. Or should I say fortunately? I have come to a few conclusions about society and movies which I would like to share. Since this is where I spout off, well, just hear me out.

The word hero immediately conjures the image of the current version of a hero. Some total bada$$ with a need to save hundreds of people from certain death. Just because. Well, because he's damn cool and kinda ruthless and a badguy and women like him. Oddly enough, he has not noticed the fact that he has no life and no friends and no reason to want to save people and he's a stereotype. I think if you were to ask most people who their hero was they would not mention someone they know who blows things up and always has a snappy comeback before leaving to let others bag the bodies. No, they would probably mention a friend or relative who helped them through a tough time. I would talk about my husband because he has supported me through all of the changes I've made over the past year and a half -- despite the fact that some of those changes were inconvenient to him. An abused child might bring up the teacher or friend who gave him the courage to go to the authorities. An alcoholic might remember the friends or relatives who pushed her into rehab even after she messed up their lives.

What am I talking about? Am I seriously saying that heros are everyday people? That's so cliche. Isn't it? I do not think so. Because for every one of those small time heros there's a person who would not have done the same. Let me compare two fictional people who wanted to achieve greatness. Perhaps you can judge which of them was more of a hero.

Person No. 1 is Batman, portrayed so brilliantly in the recent flicks. He's obviously a special guy given everything from day one, but deciding to learn what he can despite his privilege. We see him use his money and power for good although it would be so easy to do otherwise (right?). He goes out at night and rescuses people from common criminals. He makes the world a better place and by the way he has a really cool car. No one quite notices the fact that his life is empty with no family or close friends. I mean, he's out doing cool things all the time, why should we care that he's all alone? Surely, the cool things must be more fulfilling than human interaction. Surely, depriving himself of human brotherhood must be working for him.

Person No. 2 is George Bailey from the Christmas movie It's a Wonderful Life. He's just an ordinary guy with dreams who grew up in a loving, supportive family. We watch George as he is trapped doing a job he hates in a town he wants to leave, surrounded by his friends and family whom he kinda takes for granted. At the same time he's all about doing good things for the people around him. George does not allow his complaints about the life he's had change the fact that he's a caring, compassionate person willing to sacrifice for others -- even to the detriment of his own reputation. It is not until the end of the film that life's frustrations build to a head and George finds himself angry at everything he loves. He is about to be ruined as far as he can tell. Despite the fact that he has given his all no one seems to have come through for him. And then it happens. They all show up at his house and promise to help him no matter what the cost. Heavenly intervention aside, a person cannot help but tear up at that ending. Or at least, I can't and I've seen that movie almost once a year since I was a young child.

It's clear to you that I think George Bailey is the true hero between the two characters. Perhaps it is because I too have delusions of grandeur. I would like to be a cool, loner like Batman. But I don't want to miss out on the greatest part of life. I don't want to miss out on companionship, family, and the connection that comes when an ordinary person helps another ordinary person in need. A cool car and an explosion are unneccessary for courage. Courage is just the simple will to live in the moment showing compassion to everyone you meet. George Bailey will always be a greater symbol of heroism to me than Batman. Not because he destroys evil, but because he nurtures goodness.

Meme Break

I wrote the following meme for something else and decided I would post it on here to give people something to read. It is 25 random and little known or unusual facts/myths about myself. Feel free to copycat and do the meme with facts/myths about yourself.


1. My husband and I met and got to know one another as friends while he tutored me in college algebra.

2. I have a lot of dreams. No, seriously, I dream all night long and they are incredibly vivid dreams. My subconscious has it's own world with a town that is always the same every time I go through it. The movie theater in the town looks really odd.

3. I have been a fan of Kevin Sorbo ever since "Hercules: The Legendary Journeys." I did not watch the show, but I remember seeing Kevin on an interview where he tossed his head and did this ridiculous hair flip and then talked about how important it was to his image (his hair, not the show). I thought,"This man is funny." I think it would be a riot to meet him someday. Feel free to pass my info along if you happen to know Mr. Sorbo.

4. I have only had one cavity in one tooth ever.

5. I despise broccoli. I always have. I never eat it if I can help it.

6. When I was a kid I always wanted one of those goofy looking trolls with the long, spiked hair of vibrant colors.

7. I am fascinated by dollhouses and hope to build one someday.

8. I have tried many other flavors in latte, but hazelnut is still the best and the only one for me.

9. I believe that buying organic is a big, big consumer scam. Organic just means that something crapped on it and nobody cleaned it off.

10. My favorite historical figure is Ulysses S. Grant. When I was a child I thought he was incredibly brave. When I was a teenager I learned he was actually an alcoholic. Now that I have studied his life I have come to the conclusion that his story is not the story of how a man shaped history. It is the story of how history shaped a man's life. In a sense, it is everyone's story. We put a lot of emphasis on being a "world changer" and an individual. Instead we should pause to think about the history that has made us the way we are. That history was most often made by the little people and embodied by the heroes.

11. I have recently become a fan of Joss Whedon's "Angel."

12. Growing up my favorite books were the Redwall Series by Brian Jacques. I still read them and enjoy the air of familiarity they give me. I especially love the theme of a small creature (usually a mouse) learning to become confident in himself/herself and being heroic.

13. I am self conscious because I am thin -- believe it or not.

14. I love to keep up on scientific news. It's too bad journalism sucks so much these days.

15. Once when I was super-angry at life and the world and I had just got home from work Craig put on a Judas Priest song and I head-banged to the beat and waved the "devil's sign" in the air with both hands. It felt good.

16. I find that acquired tastes often become my favorite foods and beverages. For example, I like avocados, Swiss cheese, Earl Gray Tea, coffee, escargot, and beer -- but not all at the same time.

17. Plum sauce goes with almost everything. At least in my world it does.

18. I don't like to talk unless I am going to amaze everyone around me. This fact is probably not little known.

19. As a child it was my dearest wish to own a tape measure.

20. If you do not know who Gene Roddenberry is then you should find out because he sure as hell didn't have anything to do with Star Wars.

21. I wish that my cell phone was just a phone. I want no text messaging, no camera phone, no random games, no online capabilities. I just want a phone.

22. I could understand Shakespeare's plays when I was 12 years old.

23. Mayonnaise and Dijon mustard are my favorite condiments.

24. I used to be afraid of toilets.

25. I prefer the New American Standard translation of the Bible. It is a higher reading level, yet plain and literal.

I Was Right

David Cook was most definitely the right choice for American Idol last year. I am so happy with his music that I feel no compulsion to keep up on the show this year. I think I'll watch some of the early shows and then cut out. Anyway, I'm in school on Tuesdays which is much more fun to watch than the Wednesday show once the contestants get narrowed down.

I took my time getting David Cook's cd. It sounds great.

Life Changes

I have taken a short break from blogging mainly because I had writer's block. I also had so much else on my mind that I did not have time for writing. The facts are that much has changed in me and for me over the past year. Most of the changes are too personal for me to discuss in this medium. However, some of the results of those changes can be explained.

Over the past week I have been super busy trying to find a job. I quit caring about the specifics as much. I just went out into the job-o-sphere and talked to people. I have never tried that before. I am shy, you see. Painfully shy. Years of homeschooling certainly did not help my social capacity. I've been looking for a job since September really. I had very little luck and very few interviews until this past week. Of course, I went with the same old, same old method of mailing my cover letter and resume in answer to help wanted ads. I made a few phone calls -- emphasis on few. No luck. Since I have always had trouble finding a job I assumed my normal stance of feeling like I was hitting my head against a brick wall.

Then I decided to start school again. I registered for two evening classes at a local community college and stepped up my job search work. Still nothing. I had an excellent interview, but was not chosen for the job. I kept trying. A week ago I realized that I had one week to find a job before classes start (they start Monday). That realization was kind of like a very bright light bulb in my head. One that quickly grew too warm and burst into flame. The deal was that I could not start school without a job to pay for the classes.

I hit the pavement on Monday and I went everywhere. I made sure I got to talk to managers at every place I went. I had on the spot interviews. It was a crazy week. Now I have two job prospects in my sights. On one I have been asked to come back for the second interview. On the other, let's just say it's very close to a slam dunk after the first interview.

Essentially, the thought that I might not be able to go back to school motivated me. I mean, I've been wanting to start school again for at least a year. The problem was I did not know what I wanted to do. Now, I still do not know for sure, but I am getting there. For me, the most important factor is that I am moving forward. After a year of thinking and months of not working I have things in place and I am moving forward again. I know it will not be easy. But this time I am not going to give up or choose a lesser destiny for myself than what I really want.

You're probably wondering what that last sentence means. Essentially, it means that I am no politician. I am glad I got my BA in political science, but it's not where I really want my life to go and it never was. I enjoy political thought, I do not enjoy practical, backstabbing politics. I will always be civic minded and active in my community. That's just who I am. On the other hand, I like to help people and I am going to find a career where I can be myself and help people without judging them or hating them.

Call Me Remiss

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year's to all my friends and family. I promise I will get those cards sent out soon.

I have never been late to send out Christmas cards before and I hope never to be late again. This year has been interesting, long and somewhat difficult. I've spent a lot of time thinking and not much time writing. But do not worry. I will get back to regular blogging. Really, I will.

Such A Long Time

This post is just an update with more intellectual stuff to follow (seriously).

1. I had a job interview a few days ago and it went well. For me, that's spectacular.

2. I did win NaNoWriMo with 60k words and counting. I plan to finish the draft.

3. I had a wonderful Thanksgiving visiting friends down south a ways.

4. Christmas is going to be a Grinch this year for me and mine. I only hope I can get gifts out to friends and family in January.

5. I continue looking for a job with a lot more focus than I have ever had before.

6. Happy Thanksgiving a little late.

7. It looks like I'll be taking a couple tough classes come January. I'm kind of excited to be moving on with that.

8. I was on CNN. Too cool.

9. Here an Obama, there an Obama, everywhere an Obama. Obama.

10. Why don't people remember Ebenezer Scrooge for his generosity after he redeemed himself?

Coming Up With Stuff

I have lots to write about, but before I start my rants I think you should read this guy's words. Kind of inspiring, really. Take note of some of the comments afterward if you have the time.

My B-Day

My birthday is today. Go me. I am turning 27. For the first time I am realizing that I am in my late twenties. So weird. Still, I want to experience every age and guess what? I get to experience every age. Time doesn't stop for any of us. Here's to a good birthday for me.

Me, At A Party, Sort Of

So, I've told you how I drive my car in the snow. I am darn good at that. I know all the tricks of the trade. For example, shift into neutral if you're trying to stop and you start to slide ominously close to the rear end of the car in front of you. The wheels will stop turning and believe it or not you will stop. Note: this trick does not always work with 100% success; once I had to shift into neutral and steer into a snowbank on the curb to avoid rearending someone. Not to digress. Okay, wait for it . . . I have never told you about how I am at a party.

I don't really go to parties. That's probably the main reason I don't talk about going to parties. Did you know that in my entire college career I never attended a party? Did you further know that I have never been intoxicated from alcohol use? Did you further know that one of my friends used to tell me I had obviously escaped from a nursing home and had some really good plastic surgery done to make myself look younger? Okay, so, one of those lines is only half true, but I'm not going to tell you which one. Suffice it to say if you ever find me at a party I will have to put the blame on quantum tunneling. I would never knowingly go into a situation like that.

So, I was going to say, since I am a social oddity I don't do too well at large events with lots of people. Recently, I attended a church picnic with my husband. It was fun until I decided to tell a joke. Our new vicar from church was leading a short devotional to close the evening's festivities. He asked a simple question: "What is the meaning of life?" I responded by shouting -- twice, because nobody got it the first time -- "42!" Of course, nobody got it the second time either. Then one person started laughing and confirmed that no, Esther is not crazy, she's just the queen of obscure references.

Boy, I felt stupid. Yeah, I'm here all week. I don't even need alcohol to make jokes like that.

Now I Get It Part 1

I have often wondered why so many people adore everything in television or cinema which Joss Whedon had anything to do with. Many of my friends and acquaintances were big Buffy and Angel fans back in the day. They probably still are. Then there is Firefly and Serenity. People attend conventions dedicated solely to the Firefly universe. Yeah, I enjoyed the series when I watched it. It had excellent characters and concepts. It was intriguing and scary. But, you know, I can only watch the same 14 episodes so many times before I have to put them on hold for a while. The problem with Firefly is that it didn't pick up. It's a cult classic. I repeat, cult classic.

Up until recently Firefly and Serenity were my complete exposure to the mind of Joss Whedon. I saw two episodes of Buffy when I was a sophmore in college. They were from the first season and I didn't care for it that much. Recently a friend of mine mentioned Hulu.com as a good place to watch tv for free. I'm a sucker for cheap tv and movies -- no money spent on cable or direct tv here. I watched Dr. Horrible's Sing-Along Blog on the site. It is amazingly well written and surprisingly poignant for a comedy short. Intrigued I decided to check out some Buffy. I pushed through the first few episodes which were mildly entertaining. You know, that show really picked up in the second season. I find myself caught up in it. I might have to rent or buy more seasons (only two are on Hulu).

I always try to avoid going in for fads. Hence, I waited until J.K. Rowling had written the 6th Harry Potter book before I read any of them. Of course, I didn't like them, so I turned out to be correct about that fad -- I think. With Joss Whedon's stuff I might have been wrong to ignore the fad. I enjoy a good story and he is a good storyteller.

Still, the discovery of a good story -- even one that's been around a while -- is never lost on me. I see my opportunity and I am taking it.

Face To Face

Today I would like to take some time to mock the internet. Yes, that's me. I utilize the world wide web for information gathering, email, and blogging. I even made a friend online. Now I'm gonna sit here and diss part of my world. I see the irony and I know how easy it is to pick on technology. However, there are certain things for which the internet is a poor substute: i.e. friendship.

I have moved three times in the past 3 years. Albeit the third move was five miles away from the place I lived after the second move. It still requires new habits. For example, I don't get to go to the laundromat anymore with my overloaded bags of dirty clothes. I started chatting with one girl who worked there. I mean, we weren't friends or anything, but she was pleasant and interesting. I enjoyed getting to say a few words. I enjoyed going to get my coffee while she kept half an eye on my stuff. Now I do laundry at home alone. It's convenient. Plus my washer and dryer work much better than their coin-operated counterparts. Yet it feels like I am missing something. I am missing face to face contact. The grocery store is the same story. I decided to do my shopping at the store where I used to go. It's only five miles. Sometimes the managers will open up another check-out lane just for me. The guy at the meat counter always knows what I am going to get before I ask. No, I don't have deep conversations. Yes, I do get treated like some kind of VIP and I have an excuse for human contact.

I am not a total loser. Sorry to burst your bubble. I do make friends rather easily despite my shyness. I enjoy the company of almost everyone I meet. Even the people I dislike I can learn to accept. My nature is to find the good in people. People are interesting and unique. They are fun to watch and even more fun to interact with -- I sound like an a.i. or something . . .

The online community can be a lot of fun too. I get a kick out of reading humorous blogs. I read a lot of news and editorials. I like to read comment threads in people's blog posts and watch the back and forth. Still, something is missing. I find myself wondering, what do these people look like? What facial expression might this blog author have had when he or she wrote that post? Wouldn't it be more entertaining to have an entire conversation with somebody or several somebodies? I know there is a lot to the virtual world. Blogging alone can include video, audio or written word. Then there are webcams and those are very useful if a loved one is far away.

All these innovations still miss the face to face discussion. The enjoyment of being in the presence of a friend cannot exist in the virtual medium. Internet just can't take the place of real people and real places. Furthermore, I do better with my blogging when I am having real experiences and hanging with my real friends -- no offense to you computer people -- then when I am isolated and get most of my daily interactions reading stuff online. So, I guess this was my long-winded way of telling you all to quit reading my blather and go make a friend.

My First

Craig and I are in our new house. I have already got used to it. I feel like I'm home. Finally. To stay. I don't want to move away from this town. I know we will outgrow this beautiful house someday. It is the perfect first home. Perfect. It has two bedrooms of decent size, one and a half bathrooms, a very large living room, a formal dining room, and the friendliest kitchen you can imagine. Everyone who has come into this place has seen its potential. It's just adorable.

The move was interesting. We didn't get a moving truck because a) we didn't have much furniture to move and b) we had to move in the evenings after Craig got off work. Many of our friends in the area came and helped us move stuff into the house. I didn't realize how many friends I had until we found ourselves in a bit of a pinch here. They just came out of the woodwork to help. We got out of our nasty, centipede apartment with the moronic, upstairs neighbors a little over a week ago. I feel so free.

There were few mishaps despite the abnormal nature of the move itself. One of the mishaps included the loss of about 65% of our fine china. The good news is it's a replaceable pattern and you can find good deals on it online.

I spent our first few days in the house catching up on my sleep. That is, after several of my family members stopped by and after we drove to Kansas and back for a wedding. Busy, busy, busy. I am finally breathing a sigh of relief and getting back to the job hunt. Oh, didn't you know? I quit my job. It was a good idea. I am going to find a job that will lead me on my chosen career path. Not quite sure what that is yet, but I have some ideas.

Today we made our first furniture purchase for the house. A desk chair. This is not just any desk chair. It's all leather and it has a high back and it swivels and it can be raised and lowered. It's cool. I got it for super cheap at a consignment shop. A consignment shop that is pretty, darn close to my new house. I love this town. Oh yeah.

MIA

I am moving to my new house. I have the keys. Yes, that is way cool.

However, I am also rather quiet on the blog front as consequence of the move. I will write when I can. And if I live through this. I am so tired.

Back to work now.

Whoa.

Craig and I officially became homeowners last week on Friday. Like, whoa. I'm not sure what to say. I really like my new house. I can't move in until mid-August. But it's still my house.

Send on the housewarming gifts!

What Does This Mean?

As I kid I was taught that I have a destiny and I am going to fulfill that someday. It's a rather simplistic notion as I look back upon it. I never questioned the idea. Frankly, I doubt a lot of kids would question such a notion. You lean on adults to tell you how the world is. If they tell you the world is what it is not, well, who are you to know the difference? The more I think about it, however, the more I believe the destiny doctrine -- I coin the phrase -- is both naive and destructive. It places an expectation in a person that one should wait for the appropriate moment to react to a particular event. An event that you will somehow recognize because God is going to shoot down a light from heaven to let you know about it. Or something like that. Not that God cannot come and get you if you walk away from your calling. I am not contradicting that idea. There are far too many biblical examples for me to knock down the fact that God does call people to specific purposes.

However, not everybody gets a burning bush. You might notice that the people who get those moments are the most reactive rather than proactive people in the whole Bible. I mean, look at Moses. He tried to help his brethren, ended up committing murder, tried to cover it up, and ran off into the desert to hide from it. He had no plans to return and rescue his people. How do you get through to someone who reacts to his calling with fear? Burn a bush and yell at him. Sounds good to me.

On the other hand, consider Jesus's parable of the talents. Nowhere does it say the master explained in excruciating detail what each servant should do with his money. It just says he gave them the money and went on a journey. He expected them to use the money to produce more money. Maybe the idea of an explicit destiny is incorrect. A calling is different from an absolute destiny. A calling allows for free will. Destiny doctrine is fatalistic. It even suggests you cannot accomplish your work until you receive that explicit voice of God. It does not take into account that things change as you live your life. If you go along waiting for that epiphany I doubt it will ever come. You have to make a decision to follow a dream. You have to develop yourself and continue to make positive changes. You cannot hide away expecting your opportunities to walk up to you and ask if you are ready to join the game. Destiny doctrine is a rigid teaching that I have heard at many evangelical churches. I think it's a human response to a human idea. We want to believe that our lives have a purpose. Yes, they do. But it's okay to make that purpose happen.

In the end I am talking about myself here. I have taken a circuitous route to reach the place where I am. The truth is, I will never have a fulfilled life until I make the decision to pursue the interests that I really enjoy. I will never be content until I give up the idea that somewhere out there my fate is waiting to grab me by the throat and pull me into the right path. Frankly, I need to remind myself that proactive is better than reactive. One might say, proactive is the new reactive -- for me, at least.

Citizens Of Blank

One of my college professors used to give short soliloquies on how we should not identify ourselves as citizens of any particular nation. He said we should be "citizens of the world." I remember thinking, "What does that even mean?" every time he said that. My student evaluations reflected my confusion on the subject. As I ruminate, I remember that the idea of being a "citizen of the world" and not of any one particular country has become old hat. At least, since I was a kid. The term itself is so vague that I do not think I can actually define it in a blog post. I can, however, diss it to my heart's content.

I am not here to point out why any particular country is better than any other country. I like my country best because it's where I was born. I am a part of my nation. I am invested in its political process, its laws, and its people. I speak the language primarily spoken here. I discuss and debate values based upon a common upbringing with those around me. In some senses, my childhood was not very common. I do not understand the desire to go out and make another country's culture into my own culture. This has become a popular practice of late. I am not sure why; although, Allen Bloom had a lot to say about that. I am interested in learning about other cultures. Sometimes other cultures annoy me -- I notice only the children of Mexican descent trying to sit on my parked car when I look out the window, for example. Sometimes my own culture annoys me -- hugs are practically illegal here. At the same time, I respect other cultures for what they are and only make value judgments based on obvious moral wrongs (e.g. human sacrifice). I also appreciate many of the distinctly American notions that we bat around on an everyday basis.

One of the things I love about my nation is private property laws. In the U.S. we get a lot of crap thrown at us for being "materialistic." But that is part of what we are. Frankly, we started this country because we got fed up with paying taxes. We like our stuff and we don't like other people trying to take it away from us. That's not really a problem. I mean, buying a house is a right of passage to adulthood. I'm fine with that. I just bought a home and will move into it within the next two months. I'm stoked. I plan to make sure it's secure and well maintained. You know why? Because it's my house. My own property. It's important to me.

That's really the bottom line of why I care about the country where I was born and the place I have made for myself in my own community. It is mine. I have moved from place to place a lot. I have finally found a good place to call my home. I like it because it belongs to me. I want to make my community a better place because it's a part of my life. I appreciate many things about my country including the rule of law and the right to vote.

Today was chosen to be a day of remembrance and celebration. It's not a day to remember all the things I hate about my country or all the horrible things my government has done. It's a day to remember what I value about my country and why I will continue to work for its betterment. It's a day to remember that I am a citizen of the United States of America and that does have meaning. It gives me a sense of identity that being a "world citizen" never could. I know who I am based partly on the fact that I live in this place and I comply with its rules. I try to change the rules I disagree with, yes. And I appreciate the fact that I am free to work against the laws that disrupt my moral code. I appreciate the fact that I can go out and suggest everybody vote for a guy just because I agree with his principles -- and even though I always knew he would never win. I really love my country.

I am not a citizen of meaninglessness. I am a citizen of the US. Now, for some fireworks . . .

Return To Daily Grind

So, my husband and I took a vacation this week. I was away from internet access for 6 days give or take a few hours. Pretty cool. We had a wonderful time. Now I'm back. So, I'm off to unpack stuff. Have a good evening.

Happy Anniversary To Me

Today is mine and Craig's third anniversary. It's a beautiful day even if it rains. I am going to spend the whole day with my husband. So you won't hear more from me for now.