For All You Comics Fans

I found a pretty fun article online today. Now all we have to do is find Superman.

A State Of Incompetents

No matter what way you spell it, that's where I live. A place filled with incompetence and incompetents ad nauseum. As I will be leaving soon I have spent a good deal of time remembering all that has happened during my tenure here. I can still remember my introduction to this dreadful town. It was after our honeymoon in Maui had ended. We flew in to the Detroit airport and went to my family's place to pick up our wedding gifts. Then we drove down to Indiana. I will never forget the good feeling of arriving in the first home that I would share with my husband. There's a stretch of road not far from our apartment where the trees overhang and form a tunnel. It goes up a hill. That was the moment when I really felt at home. Those beautiful trees looked so much like Michigan trees. I rejoiced in the greenness of the place.

That was before I noticed that the beautiful trees intertwine through the power lines, causing power outages every time the wind blows more than 10mph. The hippy city government refuses to allow the electric companies to cut the trees away from the power lines. The road commission is also forbidden from trimming the growth that impedes sight along the roads. Most stop signs are covered by branches. It's generally a good idea to slow down at every intersection. No one actually stops anyway. But if you slow down at least you can figure out if a stop sign is there.

The driving was the second thing I noticed about this state. No one knows how to drive here. Not even the out of staters. It's as if they deposited that part of their brains in a large laundry basket at the border. Naturally, they never found the brain section again, who expects a laundry basket to stay put? If you see Indiana plates on a car run for cover. The driver will probably fail to notice you, cut in front of you, weave in and out of traffic and finally decide to drive too slow in the left lane. The driver will never get out of the left lane either, and never speed up. If the driver is on a cell phone or has a handicapped plate all bets are off. You're dead. You may as well make peace with your Maker.

Stores: another thing that failed to impress me about this place. First off, no one ever asks you if you need help. At least, hardly ever. No one cares. Then they try to sell the crappiest looking produce imaginable. When the green peppers go on sale I avoid them. I know they will be half rotten. But the store still thinks it's okay to sell them. The strawberries are usually so full of mold the day after they get put on the shelves that they resemble small rodents. But the stores still try to sell them. Honestly, it's disgusting. Then there's the meat. Never have I seen such meat. Once we purchased some chicken and some beef on the same day. The packages are made so that you can hardly see inside them. We put the meat in the freezer as soon as we got home. When we thawed it a few days later it was stinking rotten. I could not eat meat for several days after that experience. Every once in a while I have found a helpful store employee. Strangely enough, I insist on shopping at that establishment every time I need the goods they sell. I guess I value good service. Maybe everyone does too. Valuing customer service is surely the big secret that the rest of the world might want to let the state of Indiana in on.

Perhaps the government incompetents are the worst. I temp worked for the city more than a year ago for three months. It was quite an experience. I learned that the person who preceded me had made an enormous mess out of my job. I had to fix it. It did not take me long and I was working part time. The work was very easy. After two months they decided to hire a permanent person for my position. I interviewed for it. I know for a fact that I was the best person for the job, but I did not get the job. I am glad I did not get it now. Still, the reason I did not get that job remains an example of why I despise this town so much. The mayor decided to hire the deputy mayor's boyfriend and forced the department to do that. It was a crappy secretary position. The mayor having say over who gets hired to do the lowest job in the city seems kind of stupid to me. I wonder if he decides who cleans the toilets too.

Then there are the tax forms. They make no sense at all. I have been doing federal taxes and Michigan state taxes for many years now and I daresay I can usually do them correctly without having to refer to the instructions (which I understand) more than two or three times. The Indiana tax forms, even the EZ form, require you to scrutinize the incomprehensible instruction manual for every line. You still will not understand them, of course. Fortunately the online filing system asks the questions in a simpler format. About halfway through my tax filing I came upon a requirement that startled me. Indiana requires that you declare every online out of state purchase you made. You have to pay sales tax to the state of Indiana for each item purchased in another state that you did not pay sales tax on. Furthermore, if you paid say 5% sales tax to another state, you will have to pay Indiana 1.2% sales tax to make up the difference. Indiana sales tax is 6.2%. Can anyone else say unconstitutional and wrong? I sure can.

But recently, the state of incompetents gave me a farewell gift that takes the cake. In Indiana -- as in any other state -- you have to renew your license plate registration every year. The Bureau of Motor Vehicles (BMV) is overwhelmingly incompetent. You do not want to go in there. I spent four hours there trying to get my new driver's license two years ago and a separate four hours getting the car registered. We decided to do mail in for our plate stickers this year. We made sure to send the money and registration info more than 30 days before the plates expired. As of two days ago, our plates expired and we had received no stickers in the mail. So, we were driving on expired plates because the state failed to send us the stickers. Luckily, and for once, the incompetence worked for us. The cops do not pull you over until December even if your plates expire in January. You can drive for months on expired plates in this state. As we will soon move out of state, we wanted this taken care of, however. I can guarantee the cops in another state might actually read the date on our stickers. So, our plates expired Monday. But the BMV does not open on Mondays and our schedules are too full on Tuesdays. We had to wait until today to get our stickers.

Indiana: you are a piece of crap. In the words of Christopher Walken, "you rat bastard!" I will not miss you. I will always remember you as The Crossroads of America: because when you get to Indiana you figure out which way to go to get out of it.

Only One Battle

I have uncovered proof that my slim hold on good grammar is slipping even more. I have certainly lost one battle, and I am afarid it's a big one. The article in question concerns the sad events that occured yesterday at Virginia Tech. I think it is appropriate to discuss this issue and to interview students who were there hiding under desks and scared. But to publish quotations without adding grammar or even correcting spelling? This is another question altogether. It is bad journalism. Who wants to read an entire article consisting of random half sentences, words that are not even words and no punctuation whatsoever? Personally, I find it confusing and annoying. Furthermore, it's lazy. The journalist did not have to write anything. All she did was copy and paste the im conversation then send it to the printer. I am wondering if this is a milestone in the annals of poor writing. I have never seen anyone do this before and I am definitely no stranger to reading random articles. There were a few "OMG"s in there, but no "lol"s yet. Lucky for me it is quoted text rather than the journalist's writing. It would certainly be the end of this war if the latter were true.

I have lost one battle, but I have not yet lost the war against bad grammar. Stay tuned for some serious fighting.

Hectic!

Life is pretty hectic right now because my husband and I will be moving in three weeks. We still have to finish packing and get a big truck set up to carry our stuff out to our new residence. We also have to finalize plans on where we will be living. We have chosen an apartment. In fact, we visited our new city this past week for that express purpose.

It went pretty well. I like the new area a lot. In fact, I like it a lot better than this horrible town. I am glad to be moving because I have never liked this area. I will be sad to leave the friends I have made and my work. But I look ahead to day of having more time to write and keep the new place clean. I am excited about the idea of a fresh start. I only hope it will not take too long to settle in at our new place.

Today I am filing taxes. Yes, I waited to the last minute, but only on the state taxes. I completed the Federal taxes a while back. I could have taken them to a tax preparer and probably should have. But I really hate the idea of giving a third party all my financial information. So I am doing them myself. I have never experienced a form as dreadful as this state's income tax return. It is horrid. Absolutely horrid. Just another reason that I want to leave this stupid state! The people are rude, there's nothing nice here, no one cares about anything and the tax returns are mind bogglingly stupid. I hope things make more sense in my new home.

Happy Easter

Happy Easter!

I do not have much else to say. Celebrate the day. Christ the Lord is risen today!

Time For Some Fun

Because life sucks at the moment I have decided to write a more humorous type of post. One of my friends has a really funny dad who comes up with the best quotes. My favorite of his quotes is this: "Life sucks, grab a straw." Right now I'm having a difficult time. I have hardly slept, I am all stressed out. I have tons of things to be done. And it seems like everything I have ever done wrong is staring me in the face. I'm drained. I'm out of it. My new scar started hurting more as well. A sure sign that I need to take things easier. Instead of venting and fuming I'm going to "grab a straw" and make things more fun.

This past weekend Craig and I went to see the movie Blades of Glory. I have not laughed that much since I went to Brian Regan's show. The movie has so much in it that is so wrong, yet so well done that I could not stop laughing. It was hilarious. If you like Will Farrell even a little bit, you will like this movie (unless you only watch kids' movies and have only seen him in Elf).

I recently watched Stranger Than Fiction and was impressed with Will Farrell's acting in that. Maybe it was Dustin Hoffman's doing. After all, Dustin Hoffman makes the other actors improve by leaps and bounds just by being in a movie. He's astounding. But I think Farrell can take some of the credit for his own acting job. Blades of Glory confirmed that notion.

Some people say that Will Farrell always plays the same character. It's like they think he's another Jim Carrey (gag me). Jim Carrey (gag me) only plays himself (gag me) and himself (gag me) is pretty weird. I submit that Will Farrell does not always play himself like Jim Carrey (gag me). I have now seen Will Farrell in several different movies: Zoolander, Stranger Than Fiction, Elf, and Blades of Glory. I have a list of others to see. In none of these movies does he play the same character as any of the others. He does some similar things, like shouting. I don't know why, but when he yells on screen it's freaking hilarious. He is always funny. I get the feeling he cannot play a truly tragic character. That's fine. I like funny. And I like different funny.

Care to join in the fun? You can do a movie review or tell me why you disagree or agree with me. I just want to have a normal, fun conversation on my blog for once.

What's In An Idea?

When we think about rulers or leaders or governments we seldom think of ideas. Mostly we think of people or agencies. In actuality, ideas rule us. Often ideas constructed by people who are long dead and who had no idea of the influence of their thoughts. Did Aristotle know that his logic would rule the known world all the way until the EDIT: Middle Ages (I stand corrected)? Did Machiavelli realize his ideas would forever change the way people understand politics? Did Locke know that his notion of inalienable rights would become the dominant understanding of government for more than 200 years? Did Freud have any idea of the way his ideas would shape society? Probably not. But these ideas -- and many others -- are what govern society today.

Aristotle was right when he said that man (human) is a political animal. That is what separates us from other creatures. Most people who read Aristotle think that he is only referring to the fact that we form associations and become self sufficient. That is incorrect. Ideas form an integral part of politics and being political.

Please pardon this next digression, it is necessary to stem the tide of knee-jerk reactions upon reading the word "political." I refer here to politics in a broader sense. Not the hard nosed, scum sucking, advantage seeking kind that most people think of when they hear that word. I refer to the politics about which Aristotle wrote. He wrote of associations, justice, ideas, virtue and how these things interact. If you need a refresher course then I recommend Aristotle's Politics and the Nichomacean Ethics. These are excellent works that ought to be read in tandem. They explain a type of politics where every person is not trying to harm his or her fellow human with every action.

On with the subject then! Ideas are what set us apart and govern our lives. One cannot live a satisfied life by merely eating, sleeping and staring at the tv. Even then, there are ideas on the tv. Other animals do not have ideas. At least, they do not have ideas that better their own society. They act on instinct alone. We can reason things out, calculate, decide which would be the best course of action. This is a self evident fact.

The state of ideas today is bad. I think the problem is that people are no longer being exposed to good ideas. They are only getting bad ideas and vague ideas. Who tries to think about the differences between Locke and Aristotle anymore? Who cares to decide which one of them was right (because their ideas are mutually exclusive)? The answer is only a few people who write books full of long words that most people do not get.

Strangely enough, this glut in the nature of ideas comes at a time when we are supposed to be more open minded than ever. You know, everything's okay, everything's cool. It's like we're all on some kind of drug or something. We have opened our minds to everything and thus closed them to the one thing that matters: ideas. You are not allowed to say what idea is right or wrong. You can say that you dislike an idea, or that it's not for you. But there is no final standard for pointing out the illogic or outright moral wrong of an idea. That's just my opinion, I know. And this is no joke.

Furthermore, we have the ability to look up innumerable ideas. Still, most of us do not even know the basic contributions of historical figures like Martin Luther (not MLK Jr., although his ideas were good too) or John Locke. The amount of information available at the push of a button has not made anyone more logical, learned or philosophical. It has made us more lazy, if anything.

The worst thing about all this is the lack of sophistification of ideas. People spout random crap and we are supposed to nod, smile and say it's all right for them to believe that. This is not to say that I want to smack people on the head with logic -- although, sometimes I do. Rather, people should recognize the need to evaluate someone else's reflections. Every idea cannot be right. That's completely illogical after all.

If you doubt me then try putting these two concepts together: 1) ideas govern our existence 2) we do not bother to understand ideas or we think that all ideas are okay. They contradict each other. If ideas are so important that they rule us, then why would we ignore them? Or why would we open ourselves to every single one of them? You tell me.

A Classical Education Helps A Lot

Many would be surprised to hear what I have to say about a classical education. For one thing, I got one. The thing I really like about a classical education is that you learn how to learn instead of just a bunch of random facts. Unless you are really dense, you learn how to write, instead of learning a formula for churning out the occasional paper and getting an A. You learn how to research and how to organize your thoughts. You learn how to weigh arguments. You learn to be skeptical, but you also learn how to take joy in seeking truth and accuracy. You learn to let go of the things that do not matter in light of the things that do. In a way, you become somewhat irreverent. You take what people tell you and you read about it instead of believing every word you hear.

For example, my prof at school is a great guy and I would never say anything bad about him personally or as a teacher of his subject. But half, if not three quarters of what he says when giving opinions is total crap. How do I know this? Because I put it to the test. Unfortunately, most of my classmates have never learned this art. They suck in everything they're told because they really do not know any better. If they do have doubts then those doubts form thoughts such as, "this is stupid." They are not well thought out arguments that challenge the very nature of what he attests.

Taking all these notions into account -- learn, read, listen, think -- I went to see the movie 300 over the weekend. Now, as a disclaimer this movie is definitely rated R for graphic violence and nudity. It's a very stylized movie. But it's stylized into almost a rhythm. Unlike normal battle sequences where slow motion is thrown left and right, the slow motion in 300 forms a pattern with the fast motion and it really keeps the audience's attention. It's amazingly well done. Watching the movie is like watching a really good comic book without having to turn the pages. That was my honest impression.

At the same time, this movie concerns a matter of historical import. One that someone with no classical education whatsoever will not understand. You have to know something about the Greeks and the Persians. You have to understand the idea of reason in ancient Greek cultures. You must have an idea of the Greek city states and how they differed from one another. If you have never read Aristotle on virtue then you will be lost. You might enjoy the movie, but you will not get it. Strangely enough the movie has a lot to say about contemporary politics.

The 300 Spartans who fight the barbaric hordes of Persians represent the rule of law and decency. They are not afraid to fight with everything they have, they are not afraid to frighten the enemy with a form of barbarism. But they are essentially holding off the storm of illogic and lawlessness that threatens to destroy their own society.

Many have discussed whether this movie is in favor of the War on Terror and Bush or against them. Let me point out that if you know anything about Frank Miller -- he wrote the graphic novel that 300 is based on and he was influential in the making of the movie -- then you are in no doubt of what he supports. On the other hand, think about the plot of the movie. Think about the words that are reiterated over and over: reason is good, the lack of it is worse than death. Think about the state of society today. Challenge the opinions set forth by both the non-classically educated and the classically educated. You will have your answer.

Ah, Logic # 8

The title of this article was too good to pass up. Upon further investigation the article turned out to be quite logical and excellent. It makes me happy to read.

I haven't much to say on the U.S. Attorney firings. Only this: the word "scandal" has become so misused and far flung that it makes me want to poke my eyes out. I am sick and tired of every little thing being dredged up as a terrible, calamitous scandal. There has got to be an end of this. I don't give a flying monkey's butt if Bush fires his entire administration and does not tell us why. Eight attorneys is hardly the end of the world.

In the end I understand why scandals keep getting thrown right and, well, right. It's because Bush is a weak executive. People will follow a strong man into the jaws of death for a totally bogus reason. But they will scoff at a weak man until they turn blue in the face even when he's right. No I am not saying Bush is right about everything -- or anything for that matter. I am saying that it does not matter when he's right. He's weak and in the real world, that's what people notice.

Stop Sporting With My Intelligence

This article explains why grammar is important. That is not the subject of the article. It's actually about the U.S. attorney issue. I am not giving an opinion of the subject matter, because I cannot get past the grammatical issues. Do they teach journalists anything about English grammar anymore? I stopped reading the news about two months ago. I only read headlines for a while. Lo and behold, when I started reading again I began to notice the dismal state of grammer in American journalism. It makes it impossible to understand what the writer meant to say. Here's my favorite sentence from the article:

"The Bush administration's efforts to use an obscure provision of the Patriot Act to replace U.S. attorneys it deemed too vigorous in investigating Republican officials, too slow in indicting Democratic public officials or too reluctant to investigate "voter fraud" -- a euphemism for attempting to suppress the minority vote -- caused me to re-think my opinion of the fairness of Western Pennsylvania's U.S. attorney, Mary Beth Buchanan."

It took me three tries to read the sentence and three more to make head or tail of it. I am still not entirely sure what it means. Furthermore, this article is the third one I have tried to read today. The others were too grammatically difficult for me to trudge through and this one has quickly joined their club.

I declare a war against bad grammar. My blog will fight this war until journalists begin inserting random smiley faces into articles and shortening words and phrases such as "you, your, yours, you are, laughing out loud and in my opinion. " At that time, the war will have been won, but not by me.

I'm Back, Baby!

Aside: Yes, I did spend the last week watching two entire seasons of Seinfeld.

I returned to work today. It felt amazing. I even got a lot of stuff done and discovered that in my absence my work had not piled up. Much. Still, it's great to go back and realize that someone else basically took care of my stuff while I was out. It's even better to go back. I needed a vacation before I left for surgery. By today I needed to work. I was getting bored.

I spent the last week recuperating. I did a lot of tv watching, saw several movies and spent countless hours editing my 2005 NaNo novel. It was a good time. I spent a lot of time with Craig because he was on spring break. I learned something about myself: I want to stay home and work on my books. I'm tired of having an out and about, full time job. At the same time, I want to be mobile. Going and getting shopping done, taking the dog (we do not have one yet) for a walk, being more involved at a church and possibly even working part time are all part of being mobile. I hope that when we move (and soon we will) I will be able to find a decent part time job. Then I can spend a lot more time on my writing and get things around the house done.

The good news at the moment is still that I'm back! It's good to be back.

Down And Out -- Really

I had surgery on Thursday to repair a hernia. I have not been in the best of shape for writing despite the fact that I have a couple interesting topics lined up for discussion. I'll get to those later. I had been scheduled for this surgery for a while now and it's finally over. Except, it's not really over. There's this thing called recovery and let me tell you, it sucks. I am always in a little bit of pain. The pain meds do bad things to me even when I take them. I'm tired all the time. I can only walk around for so long before I want to go lay down again. I get restless. I cannot lift things. It's difficult to bend down and pick things up from the floor because it hurts. I am not the most patient invalid.

I am thankful that I have such a patient, kind hubsand to take care of me through all this.

So far, recovery has been going pretty good. I know, I complain. But look, I am typing on the computer three days after I got cut open and sewn back together. That's something!

Oh yes, you know how you hear all those horror stories of people being awake through their operation. I was awake during mine. I remember it. I remember the doctors standing over me talking and asking for various instruments. I don't think they knew I was aware of them. But I was. I was so groggy that I did not get scared or anything. I just lay there and let the whole thing go on. It was kind of interesting really. I wondered if I would be able to withstand the anastesia and I was.

Soon I will be fully recovered and more able to do things than before I had the surgery. I am looking forward to that day.

Hook Is Back

Does anyone remember the movie, Hook, from when you were a kid (or a bit younger as the case may be)? It's got about as many cliches as it has minutes and I have never been the biggest fan of Robin Williams. Strangely enough Hook is still one of my favorite movies. I even occasionally quote it. "I've just had an apostrophe!" is surely one of the best lines in cinematic history. The part where Hook first walks out and you suddenly realize that it's Dustin Hoffman and he's freakin' short, is hilarious. Perhaps the strangest thing about this movie, for me, is that for once I find myself liking Peter Pan more than Captain Hook.

I have read Peter Pan and Wendy at least twice and have watched several movie versions of the story including the Disney animated. I never liked Peter Pan as a character in any of them. He was better in the movie versions, usually. But I still never liked him. I think I was born too old to appreciate Peter Pan, if that makes any sense. Recall the line from It's a Wonderful Life Mr. Bailey tells George that he was born older than his brother. Some people are just more mature from the day they were born. However, does it follow that such people have an advantage in life?

Let me put it this way, I never had any fun reading about Peter Pan. I never wanted to stay a kid forever, so I had no common ground with the charaacter. I did not want to grow up fast, but I sure did not want to be a kid all my life. I never believed in Santa Claus. When I watched movies like Miracle on Thirty Fourth Street I found myself unable to get into the story. Not because of the characters, but because of the message. Santa Claus and the perpetuation of him as an idea was not important to a person who never believed he existed. Suffice it to say, I am a born cynic and always have been. My skepticism is outrageous.

Yet I still think Hook is a good movie. Maybe it is able to reach the little kid that still exists in me. The cliches are the sort of cliches that kids do not notice. Captain Hook is hardly scary, but he is still a well done badguy, in my opinion. He's comical and even somewhat silly.

I could go on to express an opinion about the state of family films in the status quo. I could digress over the fact that no movie is good for both adults and kids these days. But it would not apply. It would be irrelevant. The fact is, there is very little adult-appreciable material in Hook. The jokes are the sort that kids laugh at. The expressions of imagination and emphasis on imagination are the kind that kids see the meaning of. You have to be a kid to like that movie. Or be partly a kid. I think the movie Hook does what the book Peter Pan and Wendy was meant to do. But better. Because I never liked the book and I never liked Peter Pan. I thought as Hook did that Peter Pan had very "bad form."

Then again perhaps that is the brilliance of that book. Perhaps it differentiates between the child and pirate in all of us. Some of us are closer to being Hook than to being Peter. Peter was a noble character in that he helped others and lived free. Peter's fatal flaw was that he forgot his friendships in the immature way that a child fails to realize how much others care for him. But Hook remembered everything. Yes, he obsessed over his memories and used them to harbor ill will. Still, he remembered. He took care of that which belonged to him, even if he hated it. His belief in appearances took precedence over his likes and dislikes of the people around him. The form mattered more to him than the heart of a person. Hook's fatal flaw was his belief that he was good just because he appeared good. In actuality he was the cynical, dark badguy with no happy thoughts. That darkness which exists in every person conquered Hook. However, Peter -- Hook's opposite -- was not the ideal human either.

Then comes the movie, Hook, and it shows a softer side to Peter Pan. A more manageable, mature side. Here is a Peter Pan who finally stands up for his loved ones. He puts his children before his own need never to grow up. Here is a Peter Pan worthy to defeat Captain Hook. There it is. That is why I hate the book so much. Because it ended too soon. The book Peter was not a worthy opponent. He was a silly, forgetful, immature ten year old who could not understand the important things in life. The Peter that Robin Williams portrayed was a man who has lost himself in darkness. This Peter discovers that light exists when he has to battle an enemy who is the image of his former, dark, foolish self in order to protect the goodness of his children who are the image of his childish Neverland orphan self.

Bore

The politician I despise the most will always be Al Gore. Why? To borrow a line froma a really good movie (Sense and Sensibility): "Because he has threatened me with rain when I wanted sun." That's why. In a nutshell. He is using global warming for his own profit and people think he cares about them. The fact is that we humans believe we can turn this world into a greenhouse just because we have cars. Cows flatulating cause more environmental problems than cars. You know what, I think nature can pretty much take care of itself. I don't mean to say we should trash the place, but we should not go frantic over something as fad-like as global warming. In the 1970s we were expecting a new ice age. What happened to that? Hello. We do not understand the way the temperature of the earth works because we have only been recording that temperature for a hundred and fifty years or so. It is pure arrogance to think we are going to destroy this planet with cars.

Besides all that, Al Gore flies from one end of the country to the other in his own private jet. He has an enormous house, and there's a mine on his land that is in working order. He probably uses up four times the energy anyone else uses. Don't be fooled by the bore.

The Big Snow, Er, Mess

I am eagerly anticipating the arrival of a lot of snow and ice. Why? Well, for one thing if it is bad enough I will get the day off work and still get paid. For another thing, I could stay home and sleep and clean. And for another thing, I would have an excuse to skip class.

Truthfully, I just like snow. There is nothing like the sight of fresh, clean snow resting undisturbed over the countryside. It's beautiful. It's prettier than a diamond. After a few cars have driven in the snow and turned it grey, or a few people have made footprints it's not the same. I hate to see dirty, disturbed snow. Even as a kid I never liked walking out and adding my footprints to the mess that destroyed all that beauty. Sledding is tons of fun as is making snow angels. But it is a pity that both these activities disrupt such brilliance. Ah well, that's the price you pay for liking to look at the snow as much as you like to play in it.

As for ice, it's been so long since I've seen a good ice storm. I would say about four years. We had one while I was in college. It was so bad the trees were dropping limbs and exploding. The sap froze and expanded, you know. My school cancelled classes for two days. It was great, except for a few minor power outages. When I was a little kid we had a marvelous ice storm once. I remember trying to walk up a hill and being unable to take a step without kicking my way through the ice. The ice covered the snow in this instance and the snow was more than knee deep to my 10 year old self. I had to stomp really hard to get my foot through the ice. I proceeded up the hill with slow progress. When I reached the top I kind of slipped -- partly on purpose. I landed on my tummy and slid all the way back down the hill like that. No sled! It was too much fun. But I was supposed to be working (gathering sap from the maple trees) so I had to haul myself back up that hill. Luckily, I was able to use my footprints left there by my previous attempted climb.

Snow and ice are tons of fun when you do not know how to drive! Here I sit, peeking out the window, waiting for the snow to start. Oops, I forgot something at the store . . .

Searching For Esther

You may have noticed my recent disappearance from the blogging world. I have kept up a bit more on my livejournal. But not much. I ought to receive some sort of corrective treatment for my long absence.

The truth is I haven't much to say. My life has been a whirlwind, mostly revolving around work. I find it is best if I do not talk about work on my very public blog. You know, it pays the bills and that's all anyone need know. I can still afford to have the internet. Enough said.

I have not been writing much. Every once in a while I try to edit, but my editing is not going so well. I have kept the house cleaner than normal. So I'm not a total bum. I've even taken up cooking, more often. I also got some books to read and I study more often for my class.

We all go through these times of low inspiration. Actually, it's not that my inspiration is low, it's more that my inspiration centers around ideas too personal to put on my blog. I try to be more honest on this blog than I once was. But some things are still not meant for cyberspace.

Furthermore, I'm putting more effort into being a leader at my church. That takes up a bit of time. We have an event coming up and I seem to be rather in charge of a few things for it.

That leads me to an actual subject in this useless ramble. I tend to get put in charge of things a lot even though I do not consider myself much of a leader type. I'm fairly confident. But I do not like to be the face of an organization. Once a week I have a short meeting with about 15 therapists at my workplace. Let me tell you it gives me nerves. I have to go in there and talk to a whole bunch of people who analyze other people for a living. Agh. Why couldn't one of my co-workers who's a better talker do that? Well, because it's my job and not anyone else's. It's the same with being in charge of stuff at church. That means I'm the face of the organization and I don't like to be the face. You can see why I never enjoyed acting or singing. Performance oriented stuff is not my thing. I like to be behind the scenes. The idea of doing a more obvious job sounds fun to me, but I do not think I would enjoy myself very much. I am not sure what the point of all this is. Perhaps it will get my creative juices flowing and I will write something real again sometime this week.

If You Want To Laugh

If you need to laugh (you know who you are) I can help you. Well, I can't, really. I'm not very funny. I'm just me. But this guy can help you. Watch some of Brian Regan's clips from various talk shows and stuff. He will have you rolling on the floor. He has a way of finding the absurd in life and pinpointing exactly why it's funny. Yet his jokes are completely clean. He's amazing.

The best part of all this is that I have tickets to go see his show next month! I'm psyched. It's going to be so much fun.

Take . . . Luck!

Announcing For 2006

Yes, I have finally got my bum in gear and decided to post the long anticipated Neville Chamberlain award for 2006. Please read the 2005 Neville Chamberlain award for the context and reference of this illustrious event.

I like to think of this announcement as my version of the Oscars, the Superbowl and Time's Person of the Year. I take all three award ideas and roll them into a bundle and then I throw them all away and start again with a better idea. My award goes to someone who was obsequious, annoying, politically disgusting and remarkable only in his, her or their ability to be unremarkable. It goes to the worst sheep of all. The person(s) who caved to what everyone else thought of them and took the easy way out. I make no pretences of any kind with this award. But as I am the creator of the award I think it is only fair that another should present it. I give that honor to my holiday monkey, Neville, pictured on the right hand side of the screen. Yes, he's presenting the award backside first, because that is the nature of this award.

So . . . announcing, for 2006 *sound of a whoopie cushion* the Neville Chamberlain award, presented for the most spineless act of appeasement during 2006. This year it goes to:

The Iraq Study Group!

They have received this dishonrable award for giving in to the crowd of media and the general pessimism and refusing to research ways of winning in Iraq. Insteadthey sought ways of losing, favorably. Whatever that means.

Truthfully, the only way we can escape the mess we've made in Iraq is if we have the balls to win. We started this all on the basis of fighting terrorism. We may have gone outside the bounds of that idea by ousting Iraq's former regime, but backing away and apologizing will take us to no good place. Radical Islam is not a system that respects weakness. Instead it inspires, fosters and engenders weakness. There is one way to send it packing, and that is to have the strength of will to stop being afraid of our own shadow. It would do us some good to remember that history proves war powers have been handed back to the people after the war president's tenure ended. There is no reason to think it will not happen again. We deserve better than to collapse under the weight our own cowardice. I for one, think it would be nice of somebody in the academic community would give us some intellectual ammunition rather than promoting ideas that make us fear our own strength and back away from helping anyone else in the fight against terrorism.

Larger Than Life: A Tribute

I interrupt my regularly scheduled award post in order to say something else. Something more important is on my mind right now.

Sad news came my way yesterday. My cousin B. passed away. He had non-Hodgekins lymphoma. He fought it for about two years if memory serves me. Now he's gone. And I never got to say goodbye to him. But that's not the point. He was survived by his wife and two children. I hope you will offer a prayer for their comfort, I know I will.

My cousin was the one person I have ever known whom I believed to be invincible. I figured I would go before he did. He was the type of person who walks into a room and everyone is automatically drawn to him. Even if they did not know him. That's just who he was. He did not try to be the center of attention or anything. But he was so steady, caring and funny that you could not help but like him and gravitate toward his conversation. The best, the only way to describe B was that he was larger than life. He stood out from the crowd for all the right reasons.

My cousin was a cop and a youth pastor. I know, those two jobs go together, hand in glove. Um, yeah. He was always very good with kids. Kids of all ages. He could make them comfortable and have fun with them. In his thirties he still did not seem awkward around kids. It was like he was a kid. He just fit right in with kids. I mean, some people when they get to their thirties they have that kiddie voice. You remember that voice. It was like they thought kids were too stupid to realize it was a kiddie voice. B never did that. Never. He was just himself. He would laugh and make a joke and his jokes were always funny. He did not try to be cool around kids, because kids just knew he was cool being himself.

B was a role model. When I grow up I want to be just like him. He put his beliefs and ideals before everything. He told the gospel wherever he went. I remember his wedding very clearly. The ceremony lasted for two agonizing hours because he could not stop telling the gospel. It was not the best experience of my life, but I will always remember it with a laugh now. He had a real heart for evangelizing. At the same time he was not annoying about it. You wanted to listen to him tell the gospel. More than that, you wanted to go to the heaven that he has already gone to.

I will miss you B. More than anything. I wish I was half the person you were. I am glad you're not in pain anymore.

Happy New Year

I am on vacation and will not be able to write a serious post until this weekend probably. I thought I should say Happy New Year anyway.

Next up, the Neville Chamberlain award! Who do you think got it this past year? Just wait and see.

I love building suspense.