Tuesday, October 31, 2006

A Serious Post, For Real

I mean it. I'm even posting in reddish brown to be more serious. This is the last post of October 2006 that I will write (we'll see) and I want it to be serious. I've been off for so long that it's getting old. I do not even have time to read the news anymore. It's driving me crazy. So, I've got something to talk about and it's serious.

Principles are rarely consistent. People will believe strongly in something, but only in one example and not in another. Yes, I'm going to talk about the War in Iraq. We've all heard a lot of discussion on the immorality of the U.S. in this matter. We took over another country, we wanted oil, there were not WMD. The list goes on. I'm not really for the war that much, so I'm not going to point out that Iraq disagrees with us on important decisions quite often, oil prices have not decreased enough to mean anything and there was evidence of WMD potential. I am going to point out something entirely different in fact.

Fidel Castro gets more respect that our government. This is because he promised to bring democracy to Cuba and then turned it into a communist dictatorship (I guess?). People's lives in Cuba could be improving, instead they are not. How about the Soviet Union? Talk about taking over another government or two! They only conquered their neighboring countries and caused the deaths of about 100 million people. But nobody talks about that. Then there's China, why doesn't it bother anyone that Google censors searches on human rights coming out of China? Why don't we ever hear comments on the secret concentration camps that political prisoners in China have vanished into? Why is our understanding of the world and the wrongs that occur so focused on one country?

You hear people talk about how wrong it was of the U.S. to go into Iraq and depose it's ruler. They say it's because that's just a wrong thing to do. In the next sentence you might hear them praise Castro or even the Soviet Union (I'm serious, I go to a public university). This makes no sense to me. If you're going to have a principle you should hold to it consistently. Otherwise it's not a principle.

I'll grant that you might not always show evidence of your belief, we're only human. However, this large of a gap is completely illogical. It means one thing and one thing only. You do not like the U.S. in particular and the things that it does.

I do agree that our actions in Iraq have set up a huge moral dilemma. A moral dilemma that ought to be considered just as seriously as consistency in principles.

Monday, October 23, 2006

Good Intentions, Or, Because I'm Weird

Every week I plan to write an interesting post. Perhaps I'll comment on current events. Perhaps I'll philosophize about the good. Perhaps I'll discuss a social or cultural concern. And every week I have no desire to write and nothing good to write about. It's sad. However, I can say a few random things that have come to mind.

Perhaps I'm getting a bit egocentric, but I am rather tired of my own weirdness. Nobody around here tells me that I'm strange, but I know they're thinking it. How do I know? Because I've been around enough to know. Some days it would be nice just to be an ordinary person and to see the world the same way everyone else sees it. I laugh when I should not laugh, I get all teary when things are not sad enough to cry, I always forget to put the specifics in when I'm talking to people. And then I have days when I just want to hide under my desk and write or something. I am tired of having to be around people. But it's my job. Paper, people and phones, that's life.

How do you stop worrying about what other people think? It really does not matter. It never has. Still, sometimes I cannot help but wonder. I want to know that I'm doing a good job at work, I want to know that I have friends. I want to be an ordinary person. I want to have the confidence I pretend to have. Sometimes I remember that I'm really just a facade. It's bothersome, because I want to be myself. I get so comfortable presenting a face that I hardly notice until I become irritated with myself. This is one of those moments.

There's only one person besides myself whom I cannot fool and that's God. Perhaps my irritation at myself is His way of reminding me that I'm not as clever as I think I am. Or something like that.

Why even present a disguise to everyone else? It's not like I'm a psycho. It's not like most of us are psychos and we still tend to present a face. It's almost a formality. You act like you're more normal than you are. But what the heck is normal? Perhaps it is because I am shy. I always say I am reserved and/or formal. But really, I'm just shy. That's only one of the weird things about me. Here's some more: I talk to myself, I make up stories in my head when I'm bored, I like to eat vegetables, I people watch, I never stop thinking even when I'm asleep, I make an effort to drink 8 glasses of water a day and usually succeed, I can only effectively work at my own desk (other people's desks make me uncomfortable), I'm happy when it's cloudy or it rains (until the 15th day of consecutive cloudiness) and I find random little things to be happy about that no else would care about in the slightest. I also talk incessently about nothing.

What can I say? I'm odd. Sometimes it gets to me. I hope I don't bore you again with a post like this . . .

Wednesday, October 11, 2006

Another Silly Story And A Basic Rant

The last two or three days could only be termed the beginning of "Esther ditz week." On Monday I left my coffee at home. On Tuesday I locked my keys, purse, cell phone and everything in my car. Today, I made someone cry because I did not have enough information to keep from making someone cry.

No offense to those who have blonde hair. I understand that does not necessarily mean you are stupid. It's a colloquialism or a figure of speech when I say that I have had a lot of blonde moments this week. I'm just not as clever as I like to think that I am.

Oh yeah, the other ditzy thing I've done this week is to arrange an outdoor adventure that will probably take place in a snow storm. That is, if you keep up on the severe weather alerts. Actually, weather happens to you even if you do not keep up on severe weather alerts. Anyways, I'm praying that cold front passes us by.

Then there's this. Maybe I'm just in a bad mood, but I am a bit tired of our American wimpy-ness. Oh my gosh, it's a war, people are having trouble. Our personal lives have been disrupted. That evil George W. Bush. He wants marriages to break apart . . . What about people who live in countries that are in continuous conflict? The Sudan? Rwanda and Burundi? People who live in countries that must go to war in order to remain, well, a country? Israel? I'm just so tired of listening to Americans whine about how psychologically messed up we are by this war when most of us have never even felt the effects of it. Most of us do not even know someone who has been stationed in Iraq!

Also, if you're going to join the military, you might be deployed for a while. It's not like other jobs. Having a griping article about how tough it is to be away from one's family is, well, like duh. That's in the job description. Gah! People!

We've turned into a nation of drama queens.

Tuesday, October 03, 2006


It's my birthday! I'm so happy. I have nothing to say, really. I think I will always enjoy birthdays, even when I am turning 80.