Saturday, October 29, 2005

Temporary Assignment

Everyone, thank you for your prayers. I have a temporary work assignment (temp agency). It will be for one week. The way I see it, one week is better than none. Perhaps if I put up a good show I can get more permanent work after this.

I am very pleased, excited and happy. I am also very thankful and more confident that God will continue to provide for and take care of me.

Some work is better than none.

Wednesday, October 26, 2005

"You Can't Take The Sky From Me"

I am definitely looking for a job at a grocery store or something similar. I plan to apply at my favorite clothing store and the local Bath and Body Works, just for fun. None of these are jobs that I enjoy or want to do. As a college grad it is difficult to reconcile myself to the fact that I can't get an office job in this dreadful town. I'm too conservative for the school to hire me and everywhere else I've looked has ended up promoting someone within the department. Yeah, what can you do against insiders? Nothing. There would be no reason to work a job if you could not get promoted so every organization must look to those already there before they look to new recruits. I have been told over and over and over again that I have amazing qualifications, and then I don't get hired. I can already hear the people at the grocery/general merchandise stores saying those three terrible words, "You are overqualified." Why does the economy have to suck in my area?

It is not as if I have not worked at a store before, however. I mean, how do you think I made it through an expensive private college to obtain a four year degree when I was paying for it all on my own? Not just loans, I made money during the summers to pay off some of the tuition and I had to work to do that. So I hardly see working in a store as beneath me. I just see it as something I do not want to do right now. That's because it's called a dead end job and I despise dead ends. But I don't really want to stay in this city, so a dead end will not hurt me that much. I'll leave eventually and find a place with a better economy that appreciates my qualifications. In the meantime, even if I do get stuck working a dead end job I can still write. I can still dream. I've been watching too much "Firefly" lately and have come to a very important conclusion: no matter what boring, depressing job I get stuck doing, it can't take the sky from me.

Monday, October 24, 2005

The Sign

I have a Bush sign from the 2000 election cycle that I brought back from my parents home when I was up there. It's not just any Bush sign though. It's one of the Hispanics for Bush signs that was given to me by my former boss who used to be the chair for Hispanics in the State Republican party of the state I used to live in. It says, "Un Neuvo Dia" on it. In some ways that was very true.

Still, it's not just any Hispanics for Bush sign either. This sign was autographed by George W. Bush before he was president. It has a huge scrawling autograph on it and it's the reason I have a file with the Secret Service (they yelled at me).

So anyway, now I'm really not sure what to do with the sign. Perhaps I should sell it.

Weekend Out Of Town

I went up to my family's house this past weekend. I visited their new baby puppies, saw the new pond that Dad had dug (finally) and watched my younger siblings star in "The Wizard of Oz." Actually, none of them had speaking roles, they were Munchkins, Winkies and citizens of Emerald City. But it was still awesome and the main roles would not work without the small ones.

That was a long drive so I'm hosed off my can and I do not think I'll post much more for a couple of days. Gotta get back to the job search anyway.

Thursday, October 20, 2005

Nice Esther Month

I have decided that the month of November will be Nice Esther Month. I mean, I am normally nice. I don't really like to argue with people all the time. I only did that when I was a kid and thought that I was always right. Then I went to college and realized, like Socrates, that I know almost nothing. So, here I am announcing that next month I will not be controversial. Which means that I'm going to take some big pot shots before November . . .

Why have I decided this? Is it because I am scared of being controversial? Is it because I am becoming all warm and fuzzy? No. Haha. It's only because I won't have time to be controversial. You see, next month is "National Novel Writing Month!" I have signed up to write a novel. This novel will be 50,000 words (175 pages) long and I have to write that much in a single month. All you will hear from me will be late night, caffeine driven stupors of senselessness as I write and write and write. I hope I do not go crazy (I know, Bill, I already am crazy), and I am sure that I will have fun.

My friend Isaac who is a real writer introduced me to this event and I decided to sign up. I have a novel I was planning to write and this will force me to write it. I do have some time to develop plot and characters before the moment when I may begin writing the book, so that will keep me busy when I'm not job hunting. Oh, I am so looking forward to November!

Tuesday, October 18, 2005

Back To Iraq

Votes are being counted. So far there is possible widespread fraud, but that is nowhere near certain. It has sparked some extra investigation at least. Since that article came from the NY Times, I'm nost sure if I believe it at all. The NY Times has got almost nothing right in the news for a long time now and frankly they suck.

I am going to say about this referendum the exact same thing that I said about the election at the beginning of this year. I am glad that these people voted, but until a government is in power it will be difficult to tell if a real representative democracy will find its way into Iraq. I am excited that the people are getting to vote, all the same.

I also discovered this clever article that comes out in favor of the war in Iraq. The author discusses smurfs and that's why I'm writing in blue today. Enjoy.

Sunday, October 16, 2005

No Holds Barred

I have been trying to write this dreadful post all day and it's just not coming very well. I wanted to discuss my thoughts on an event hosted in my town this past weekend. It's not my favorite thing to talk about so that's probably why I am having a difficult time posting my thoughts. This weekend my lovely town hosted an event called Eroticon. If you're wondering what that is, your imagination can probably help. Remove the last two letters and consider the meaning of the word, and if you still can't figure it out there's always

One or two years ago I read about an event at a college where a tent was set up for couples wishing to engage in consensual, free love. Here in Indiana it costs ten dollars or twenty dollars depending upon one's attire, but it's very similar. It was not exactly in a tent though, according to the article in the school paper the event was held at a night club. Now, you may be wondering, why did I bother to read this article? This certainly does not sound like something that I would be interested in attending. No, it's not. I read the article because I wanted to write a post on it. Because
I don't care if someone gets upset at me for what I am about to say. I think my audience is sufficiently moral to agree with me, at least in part.

Now, I have to be careful what I write here.
The entire article on the event consists of a bunch of innuendos that make me cringe reading it. If I put in a wrong word I'll get many weirdos reading my blog because of the search words they put into google or something. Then I'd have to turn off anonymous comments.

To start with, this event disgusts me. To end with, it disgusts me. That a college newspaper should share the news with students as if it's an educational event further disgusts me. I get the impression that sex is merely another way for people to entertain themselves, from this article. It cheapens and distorts the subject to the point where I just want to stand on a soapbox on a street corner and talk really loud.

Perhaps you'd like to hear some quotations from the article . . . okay, can't do it. The article disgusts me. Get this, there were rooms available where people could find a partner and go for the experience of BDSM. These rooms were called "playspaces." They even hired people apparently to give others the experience . . . uh, yeah, that sounds like prostitution to me, dude. And another great way to pick up an std. That's about all the specifics I can manage. I apologize for the not kid friendly parts of this post, but I don't want my readers to think I'm going crazy about nothing.

Anyway, my rather stream of consciousness thoughts are as follows: Why did I move here? Okay, bad things happen wherever you go. That's all there is to it. People are people and I am willing to let them be people. But I hate the fact that something God made is cheapened so much by things like this. It appears to me that people view sex as nothing more consequential than watching a movie. The article goes on and on about how they just want people to have "fun." I'm just going to say it, sex outside of marriage is wrong. Add in all the nasty stuff and it is no less immoral, but with a darker side to the lusts involved.
We are warned, especially in Paul's letters, against sexual immorality. Now I know that many people see sex in a lighter manner. Here I am making a Christian argument about it. Well, I'm a Christian and I think that sex is a far more serious thing and treating it like a toy is flat out wrong. I'm not going to lighten up about this. It is a gift of God and like all gifts of God it has been misused by human nature. It is a sad fact of life, and it upsets me to see it. The affects upon people are not to be taken lightly. Aside from being morally wrong, this kind of stuff is also dangerous. Serious emotional and physical harm comes from misusing sex. Obviously, I'm not a psychologist so I can't go into any depth on this. I'm not trying to write an editorial, I'm just outraged.

That's it. Stream of consciousness, dreadful post, but it's what I think.

Wednesday, October 12, 2005

For The Casual Reader

Personality quizzes are a subject of some interest to me. When I have nothing to do except Calculus, I often stall by taking random personality quizzes online and reading my results. A serious dilemma has developed in the personality quiz sphere of the internet over the past few years. Namely, every fool, idiot and nincompoop out there can create personality quizzes via websites like Quizilla.

These quizzes are erroneous, assinine and tell me things that I already knew. For example, yesterday I learned from five different quizzes that I am "sweet, kind and like to help people." Some answers make no logical sense. For instance, one quiz told me that I am a "heartless bastard" and should study "law." Now come on, not every lawyer is a heartless bastard. Furthermore, being a "heartless bastard" does not qualify one for studying law. And finally, on what did it base this idea? It asked a question about what I would do if I found a puppy on the street and I clicked the answer that said: "That's a full-bred Newfie, maybe there's a reward for returning it to the owner." Now I don't really care if there's a reward. But I am the sort of person who would notice the breed of a random puppy on the street. I would try to return it to the owner no matter what breed. I just figured that if it was a Newfie a reward might be possible. Anyway, that doesn't make me a heartless bastard, I still cared enough to return the puppy. So, what the hell is wrong with being a little capitalistic about helping a puppy?

Of course, then there are the amusing quizzes that could not possibly help one in any way, shape or form. These quizzes tell you what kind of killer you are. Or what Lord of the Rings character you are. I took one recently on what Batman villain I am. I turned out to be the Penguin which made me very happy. But I'm not a villain so it doesn't really matter. The "just for fun quizzes" are more legitimate than the random career quizzes from the above example. They mean nothing and they never will. Nor do they pretend to mean anything, thus I enjoy them. My favorite would be the "Get Your Pirate Name" quiz which starts out with a sentence that says the following: "You must be very careful to answer each question honestly or it will not give you the correct answer." I enjoyed that, because so many quizzes attempt to be serious by saying something like that when they were created by an amateur.

That's one of my main beefs with personality quizzes. It's not as if they are created by psychologists. Yet they take themselves so seriously. My second beef is that you can tell a quiz whatever you want. If you see yourself a certain way, the quiz is going to see you that way. So there is no way to know if what the quiz says is true or not because it is always subjective to how you see yourself. My third and final beef stems from the type of questions on personality quizzes. Everyone's favorite question: "What's your favorite color?" They then proceed to list some colors, but they are not all the colors in existence. How can you ever be truthful when the answers depend upon the selection of the person making the quiz? It's the same with most questions. I always want to put in an answer that doesn't exist as an option to the question.

In conclusion, I would say that most personality quizzes are completely pointless. They are constructed by people who do not know how to analyze a personality. Furthermore, they are encumbered by several problems. Whomever wrote the quiz thinks that he or she is some sort of amateur psychologist and knows what he or she is doing. Really, however, they are amateurs. Amateur idiots who care way too much about what color is my favorite but are not smart enough to include my favorite color in the list of answers. And of course, the quizzes are always hampered by my view of myself. So, in the future, I will only take quizzes that are funny and mean nothing in the real world. At least those ones amuse me.

Tuesday, October 11, 2005

Why Don't We Give Them What They Want?

This article by Ed Koch got me thinking. I wonder what would happen if the U.S. pulled out of Iraq and Afganistan. Heck, why don't we just pull out of every place where we have troops. Bring our troops home and fight our wars when we are attacked.

I know, the war in which the most Americans died and lost property was fought on our own soil (Civil War) . From that and World War I we learned that it is better to fight on someone else's soil and stop a threat before it makes it to our shores. Yeah, that's kind of self serving, but World War II would not have been won by the Allies if Americans had not been self serving.

In a way, it would almost be humorous to pull out of Iraq. Everyone gets angry at Americans for "being arrogant," and believing that other countries ought to mimic our form of government. Actually, we're only defending ourselves and the rest of the world from a threat that is very real. If the U.S. suddenly walked away from the powder keg brewing in the Middle East, what would happen to Europe?

I know, I'm stereotyping. What a typical, arrogant American thing to do! I believe that people who say they want to kill everyone actually do want to do that. This is a disclaimer, I am not talking about all of the Middle East. I refer only to Islamic terrorists and those who believe in jihad. I'm not indicting every Muslim out there. If you think that's my game, then I am sorry. I try to put the blame on those who ask for the blame. As far as I can tell, terrorists like al-Zarqawi mean what they say when they make threats. I would never blacklist all Islamics as terrorists. I would not say that Islamics are backward and need to be modernized. My words include a select group of Islamics. You know the ones who are out to kill us.

Back the important issue, what would happen to Europe? Better yet, does Europe really want us to pull out of Iraq and Afganistan? What would people think if we left? I bet that terrorism would suddenly be a much bigger issue in European countries and we would start seeing stronger leaders rise up or the ones who are already there would take a stronger stand against terrorism. Maybe only the reality of the U.S. pulling out will make people see the awful truth. The problem that we are fighting is not a problem that is just going to disappear when we leave. We did not cause people to become terrorists by fighting against terrorists. That's as logical as it would be to say that fighting Hitler caused him to kill more Jews. I despise the fact that the U.S. waited so long to get involved in World War II. I despise the fact that we allowed Hitler to do such terrible things. Forgive me, if I am proud of the fact that we are among the first to stand against atrocities against humanity this time around.

But then again, it might have been better to wait a little while until people believed that our country was needed in this fight. Maybe being a tad bit isolationist would have helped us gain allies instead of pushing them away. I suppose there is one problem with that idea: 9-11-2001. We could not ignore that. But we could have waited on Iraq, at least.

Sunday, October 09, 2005

It Is Rare That I Am Ever This Personal On My Politics Blog

Recently, my thoughts have revolved around the fact that I am a jobless person. Nothing I can do will automatically give me a job. I cannot make someone hire me, just as I cannot make God force someone to hire me. All I can do is apply and apply and apply. I can be certain that my applications sound like something an employer would want, I can craftily tailor my coverletters to the specific job requirements and hiring personnel. But I cannot force the hand of another person, I cannot control the mind and will of God.

Everything I have done these last few months has focused upon my job search. That is probably why I have grown increasingly impersonable upon this blog. My politics has once again been a source of comfort and a place of hiding. Naturally, this has not been a fulfilling way in which to lead my life. Thus, I have made a decision.

I have decided that I am going to spend all this extra time doing the things I have always wanted to do. I am going to get my life in better order and I am going to learn some things I have always wanted to learn. Here are some things I would like to change:

1. Keep up on my workout times.
2. Get up early in the mornings (I am a morning person by nature, but I used to work third shift so I let my sleeping schedule change and now I have a hard time getting up before 10am).
3. Go to the library to do research at least once a week. Take the time to write a really good research paper.
4. Learn Calculus and brush up on my Algebra.

That's all really. I have extra time to do these things right now and I am not using that time for anything. I just mope around about the fact that I am unemployed. I apply for jobs and that makes me feel like I have accomplished something, yet that only stems my continual focus upon the problem that continues to thwart all my attempts to fix it. I cannot solve this myself for it is larger than I am. I have not the resources. I am only human. The most that I can do is apply for jobs and let my focus rest upon God and His saving grace. He will have to do the rest.

I am sure that I will have bad days when my stress overwhelms me. Until I am employed the problem is a problem and will not go away. However, I do not have to look at it all the time and let it overwhelm me every day. Instead I can let God handle it, because He has always been the one in charge, even when I did not acknowledge that fact.

Thursday, October 06, 2005

Random Notes

Peggy Noonan wrote a great article on Bush's nomination and the implications of his choice. Let me insert a quotation from the article that illustrates my own feelings on the matter:

Here are some maybes. Maybe the president has simply concluded he has no more elections to face and no longer needs his own troops to wage the ground war and contribute money. Maybe with no more elections to face he's indulging a desire to show them who's boss. Maybe he has concluded he has a deep and unwavering strain of support within the party that, come what may, will stick with him no matter what. Maybe he isn't all that conservative a fellow, or at least all that conservative in the old, usual ways, and has been waiting for someone to notice. Maybe he has decided the era of hoping for small government is over. Maybe he is a big-government Republican who has a shrewder and more deeply informed sense of the right than his father did, but who ultimately sees the right not as a thing he is of but a thing he must appease, defy, please or manipulate. Maybe after five years he is fully revealing himself. Maybe he is unveiling a new path that he has not fully articulated--he'll call the shots from his gut and leave the commentary to the eggheads. Maybe he's totally blowing it with his base, and in so doing endangering the present meaning and future prospects of his party."

My disappointment knows no bounds!

Wednesday, October 05, 2005

You've All Been Wondering

Finally, I come before you to answer the question you have all been contemplating for two days: What does Esther think of Bush's nominee, Harriet Miers?

In my opinion, Bush chickened out. He finally cracked. The political upheaval and criticism he has faced for the past several months has done it's job. He could have picked an outright conservative judge with astonishing credentials. There were so many to choose from. Instead he picked a crony, with no record on the important constitutional issues that face the court today. He picked a woman who sounds like a wonderful and impressive person. Do not take this as a post to downgrade her achievements. But I for one hope that conservative Senators decide not to confirm this nominee.

Why? She just has no record of working on and studying the issues that will surely come before the court soon. I have read some of her stuff, yes, and they are obscure, random articles that you have to dig to find. If a Supreme Court Justice has no record in trying to understand constitutional matters, there is a problem. There is tremendous pressure put on these people and a lot of it comes from people who want activist judges. I am against activist judges on any side of the issues. A justice who is not already shaped an molded in the ideas of judicial restraint gives me no reason to believe that he or she (in this case) will stand firm on those notions.

I am shocked that Bush would back down like this and pick someone without the conservative credentials that I thought he sought for this position. The criticism he is under must be difficult to face, I understand that. He is scrutinized and blamed more than any president I can remember. But he used to have more guts. I remember a Bush who did whatever the hell he felt like because he was a Texan who did not care about people's screams of outrage. This is not that Bush.

In short, I am disappointed that Bush failed to choose someone with a strong background on the issues. I do not care that he did not pick an Ivy Leaguer, I think it is nice that he picked a more normal person. But Supreme Court justices are hardly normal! I mean, you don't dedicate your life to udnerstanding constitutional thought by being an ordinary person. Miers has an impressive business background, and who knows, maybe she will surprise me. At the moment though, I am not pleased with the nominee.

Monday, October 03, 2005

Birthday Joy

I write today to popularize my birthday. I am "another year older and deeper in debt." But it's also my birthday and it is always a happy day. I am brimming over with birthday good feelings.

Yay! I enjoy having birthdays. That's why I am never upset at the fact that it is a mile marker to show that I am growing older. Who cares about getting older when you get to have birthdays and they're so much fun? Every age is a new and interesting thing to me and I have always wanted to be every age. Of course, that's the one thing in life that I am assured I will have..

Saturday, October 01, 2005

I Know I'm Posting A Lot, But . . .

I thought that this article from the Wall Street Journal Op-Ed. section was very interesting. It reminds me of a certain popular quotation concerning power: "Power corrupts, and absolute power corrupts absolutely." (I forgot who said that.) Many of us were very happy when Republicans got control of the government. This article leads me to wonder, once again, "Were any of those hopes about a different government fulfilled? Have they ever been fulfilled?" Our Republican government tends to get a lot more criticism than the other side when it has been in power and I do not always agree with that. I am sure Republicans have done some good which they deserve praise for. At the same time, many of the things that their constituents believe in have fallen by the wayside of power.