Sunday, October 09, 2005

It Is Rare That I Am Ever This Personal On My Politics Blog

Recently, my thoughts have revolved around the fact that I am a jobless person. Nothing I can do will automatically give me a job. I cannot make someone hire me, just as I cannot make God force someone to hire me. All I can do is apply and apply and apply. I can be certain that my applications sound like something an employer would want, I can craftily tailor my coverletters to the specific job requirements and hiring personnel. But I cannot force the hand of another person, I cannot control the mind and will of God.

Everything I have done these last few months has focused upon my job search. That is probably why I have grown increasingly impersonable upon this blog. My politics has once again been a source of comfort and a place of hiding. Naturally, this has not been a fulfilling way in which to lead my life. Thus, I have made a decision.

I have decided that I am going to spend all this extra time doing the things I have always wanted to do. I am going to get my life in better order and I am going to learn some things I have always wanted to learn. Here are some things I would like to change:

1. Keep up on my workout times.
2. Get up early in the mornings (I am a morning person by nature, but I used to work third shift so I let my sleeping schedule change and now I have a hard time getting up before 10am).
3. Go to the library to do research at least once a week. Take the time to write a really good research paper.
4. Learn Calculus and brush up on my Algebra.

That's all really. I have extra time to do these things right now and I am not using that time for anything. I just mope around about the fact that I am unemployed. I apply for jobs and that makes me feel like I have accomplished something, yet that only stems my continual focus upon the problem that continues to thwart all my attempts to fix it. I cannot solve this myself for it is larger than I am. I have not the resources. I am only human. The most that I can do is apply for jobs and let my focus rest upon God and His saving grace. He will have to do the rest.

I am sure that I will have bad days when my stress overwhelms me. Until I am employed the problem is a problem and will not go away. However, I do not have to look at it all the time and let it overwhelm me every day. Instead I can let God handle it, because He has always been the one in charge, even when I did not acknowledge that fact.

5 comments:

HuskerFoley7 said...

Well, your blog has inspired me a little. Right now I'm stuck in a huge rut. I hate my job, I don't like this family, and I'm basically miserable and know I still have 9 months of it. But, I really should be making the best of my free time, rather than mopping and dreaming of a day when I will be gone from here. Damn contracts!

little-cicero said...

You guys are depressing me!

Does you're extreme makeover have any implications on your blogging schedule?
Keep on blogging...it's good for mind, body and soul.

Have you considered getting ads on the sides of the blog for additional income? Why get a job when you can blog for a living?
Well, I hope you are successful, but just remember you can always turn to lc's blog for guidance!

little-cicero said...

Say, does this have to do with my winning the debate on Meirs on my blog (or do you want to go at it some more)
I don't know what it's like to lose, but I hear it's depressing! (laugh out loud)

Good Luck!

Esther said...

Foley: I'm glad I inspired you some. I inspired me too. Sometimes I really ought to listen to myself.

LC: I have not lost anything yet. Lol.

I hate ads, I could not inflict them on others, besides, my blog would not have enough traffic for anyone to want to put an ad on it. And then there's the fact that I have to have something to do. I enjoy work. In fact, when I have a job I am usually in danger of becoming a workaholic.

Do not worry, I will keep blogging. I am thinking that I should throw in a thought provacative, generic post every once in a while though instead of just reviewing the news.

little-cicero said...

Ah, I see you're entering the little cicero school of blog. Flattering!

Your blog's good the way it is, but I would like to hear more thoughts of your own along with your links to good op-ed pieces of others.