Sometimes I pause to wonder what I have accomplished in my life and if I will ever accomplish anything. Looking at people who are much younger than myself and are already famous and seem fairly well balanced scares me a little. Perhaps I should not compare myself to others. I know, we all do it. It's probably only a discouragement in the long term. Maybe it pushes me a little to work on the goals I have for my life. But then again, maybe it just makes me cycle into a few moments of self pity that will never help me get anywhere.
I want to be an author. I have completed the second draft of a fantasy novel. I am tied up working on the second draft of a science fiction novel -- my current masterpiece. It requires a few more chapters added to the middle of the book, a new ending (I have planned for that) and a total revamping of the bad guy character. He's too stupid. I also want to do something consequential with my life. Like being the CEO of a company or something. Someday it might be nice to use my poli-sci background writing for a political journal of some kind. Oh yeah, and I would like to have a family at some point in all this.
I know I said a while back I was thinking of going into psychology or social work. I changed my mind. Among other things I do not have the drive to spend the amount of time necessary to learn all that. However, I did have an alternative idea -- suggested to me actually -- about going to grad school for Public Administration. I have been looking at the universities in my area and have discovered one very good PA Masters program. So, now I have to study for the GRE and take it. Another scary beginning step.
There are many things I want to be and it seems only one thing that I am: a dreamer. I hope that changes sometime in the near future. After all, I am not getting any younger.