Monday, October 01, 2007

Time Waits For No One

Sometimes I pause to wonder what I have accomplished in my life and if I will ever accomplish anything. Looking at people who are much younger than myself and are already famous and seem fairly well balanced scares me a little. Perhaps I should not compare myself to others. I know, we all do it. It's probably only a discouragement in the long term. Maybe it pushes me a little to work on the goals I have for my life. But then again, maybe it just makes me cycle into a few moments of self pity that will never help me get anywhere.

I want to be an author. I have completed the second draft of a fantasy novel. I am tied up working on the second draft of a science fiction novel -- my current masterpiece. It requires a few more chapters added to the middle of the book, a new ending (I have planned for that) and a total revamping of the bad guy character. He's too stupid. I also want to do something consequential with my life. Like being the CEO of a company or something. Someday it might be nice to use my poli-sci background writing for a political journal of some kind. Oh yeah, and I would like to have a family at some point in all this.

I know I said a while back I was thinking of going into psychology or social work. I changed my mind. Among other things I do not have the drive to spend the amount of time necessary to learn all that. However, I did have an alternative idea -- suggested to me actually -- about going to grad school for Public Administration. I have been looking at the universities in my area and have discovered one very good PA Masters program. So, now I have to study for the GRE and take it. Another scary beginning step.

There are many things I want to be and it seems only one thing that I am: a dreamer. I hope that changes sometime in the near future. After all, I am not getting any younger.


Emily said...

You know, writers don't become famous in their youth. . .it's one of those great fields where you slowly ripen to a nice middle or old age before publishing the bestseller. It's one of those great fields where everything else you try to do is only building you up to be better as a writer. In music, you have to be "good" from the get-go to be given more opportunities. I guess that might be true in journalism as well, but otherwise, it seems you have time to slowly become more proficient and gain acceptance. . . and do whatever else.

Esther said...

It is more difficult to get a second book published if your first one bombs. But I see what you mean. Writing itself takes experience, life experience. I haven't got so much of that yet, but I am working at it. Also, many writers are not recognized for their brilliance until they are really old or dead.

Amber said...

I understand how you feel.

Sometimes I'm really disappointed with choosing the school I'm in now...I may have a degree at the end of it, but it hasn't really taught me all that much. And I've spent two years doing it.

The PA thing sounds great! The GRE isn't all that bad, you'll be fine.
You could be like my friend from high school - took 5 years to get a degree in biology, spent a year pretending to be getting a good job, then got some lab jobs, decided go to school to be a nueroscientist...and THEN most recently, is going for a Master's in music performance.