In Theaters Near You

I decided to post my inflammatory thoughts on the movie Twilight since I went to see it yesterday. I had no good reason to see this movie. I have not read the book . . . However, I am a fan of Buffy and Angel and other things of the vampiric fiction genre. Somewhat.

First, if you think Twilight is going to be anything like standard vampire fiction prepare to be disappointed. There is no garlic, holy water, stakes or coffins. In fact, it attempts to mock those ideas. I say attempts because while it did get many titters from the giggle squad (i.e. vast host of teenage girls), it was actually pretty lame in the jokes arena. Sometimes I think the giggle squad were laughing at things the rest of us did not notice. Not to criticize them. I was once a teenage girl and had impossible crushes -- Mr. Darcy -- and a need to giggle. Come to think of it, I only chuckled. Giggling is impossible for a female tenor unless I try to giggle in a falsetto. Back to the subject now. To add to the attempt to turn vampire fiction on its head our vampire -- Edward -- has shiny skin when he's in the sun. He calls himself a vegetarian because he only drinks blood from animals. Don't think too hard about that one. That's about as much background info as I can stomach to write.

Things I did not like about the movie were these:

-All of the characters were flat and impossible to know.
-It seemed the theme was a praise of obsessive love or obsession, yet the villain of the story also carried an obsession for the object of Edward's desire (Bella). Confusing? Methinks so.
-The conversations were interminable. I mean, interminable. If you look up interminable in a dictionary you will see a picture of Edward and Bella talking. Yawner.
-It m o v e d a s s l o w a s m o l a s s e s i n J a n u a r y.
-Cliche after cliche after cliche after cliche. I cannot begin to name all of the cliches.
-It was very predictable.
-Big, gaping plot holes. For example, Edward tells Bella that he can read minds, except for hers. He never explains why or even theorizes on that subject (despite the interminable conversations). Also, Edward tells Bella that he has been waiting for her for many years. The wtf of this moment is never clarified.

Things I did like:

-The soundtrack was beautiful and kept the movie flowing.
-The cinematography was gorgeous.
-The landscapes were beautiful.
-Damn good special effects for not being, well, special effects. They did not use any CG.
-It turned some of the vampire cliches on their heads in a humorous manner (by using other fantasy cliches unfortunately).
-It was enjoyable to watch but not intellectual enough for me.

In short, it's up to you if you want to see it. I am no fangirl, but I did not hate it.