My Brain Never Tires

There's this phrase that I don't like much. It goes: "You've got your head in the clouds." I think it means that I am a thinking person. Which is why the phrase strikes me as ridiculous. It would be more accurate to say that I have my head cerebrally located -- perhaps differing from the bodily locations where others sometimes keep their heads? Another meaning of the phrase "head in the clouds" is the notion that I'm not here on earth. I do not understand why it's not possible to be a thinker, a dreamer, and a realist at the same time. There are so many false dichotomies that seem to persist in day-to-day living.

I like to think about dichotomies sometimes -- true or false. I took a logic course a long time ago and I remember reading the tactics for challenging statements of this sort. A dichotomy sets up a sort of "if" . . . "then". . . scenario. For example, "If God created the world, then evolution is false." Or vice-versa. I know that's a big can of worms and I do not wish to get into a debate at the moment. But why is so little merit given to the notion that God creating the earth and evolution could co-exist? Why are so many things considered offhandedly wrong just because we want something else to be right? The best way to challenge the argument seems to mean that you must take one side or the other. I kind of like to consider the possibility that both might be true or both might be false.

There are so many things that exist in tandem. You might say the world is much more gray than it is black and white. But it is comforting to see the black and white more clearly than the gray. For example, villains should be like the ones in cartoons, or like Voldemort: all evil. But then you get heroes who are not completely good. Face it, none of them are. Peter Pan was kind of a self-righteous snot; Harry Potter rarely trusts his friends; Odysseus got all his friends killed and made up stories constantly. I could go on. If the heroes can have flaws, even traits we would consider "evil" then why can't the villains have some good in them?

Or is it that fear of the unknown that people wish to avoid. That fear that if you look into the eyes of the villain and see that he's only human then you won't want the hero to take him out anymore? And what does it mean for the rest of society? It appears to mean that bad can exist in the shape of good. Which means that it takes work to tell what is right and what is wrong. It's easier just to pretend that all things operate on extremes. Isn't it?

Life Changes

I have taken a short break from blogging mainly because I had writer's block. I also had so much else on my mind that I did not have time for writing. The facts are that much has changed in me and for me over the past year. Most of the changes are too personal for me to discuss in this medium. However, some of the results of those changes can be explained.

Over the past week I have been super busy trying to find a job. I quit caring about the specifics as much. I just went out into the job-o-sphere and talked to people. I have never tried that before. I am shy, you see. Painfully shy. Years of homeschooling certainly did not help my social capacity. I've been looking for a job since September really. I had very little luck and very few interviews until this past week. Of course, I went with the same old, same old method of mailing my cover letter and resume in answer to help wanted ads. I made a few phone calls -- emphasis on few. No luck. Since I have always had trouble finding a job I assumed my normal stance of feeling like I was hitting my head against a brick wall.

Then I decided to start school again. I registered for two evening classes at a local community college and stepped up my job search work. Still nothing. I had an excellent interview, but was not chosen for the job. I kept trying. A week ago I realized that I had one week to find a job before classes start (they start Monday). That realization was kind of like a very bright light bulb in my head. One that quickly grew too warm and burst into flame. The deal was that I could not start school without a job to pay for the classes.

I hit the pavement on Monday and I went everywhere. I made sure I got to talk to managers at every place I went. I had on the spot interviews. It was a crazy week. Now I have two job prospects in my sights. On one I have been asked to come back for the second interview. On the other, let's just say it's very close to a slam dunk after the first interview.

Essentially, the thought that I might not be able to go back to school motivated me. I mean, I've been wanting to start school again for at least a year. The problem was I did not know what I wanted to do. Now, I still do not know for sure, but I am getting there. For me, the most important factor is that I am moving forward. After a year of thinking and months of not working I have things in place and I am moving forward again. I know it will not be easy. But this time I am not going to give up or choose a lesser destiny for myself than what I really want.

You're probably wondering what that last sentence means. Essentially, it means that I am no politician. I am glad I got my BA in political science, but it's not where I really want my life to go and it never was. I enjoy political thought, I do not enjoy practical, backstabbing politics. I will always be civic minded and active in my community. That's just who I am. On the other hand, I like to help people and I am going to find a career where I can be myself and help people without judging them or hating them.