Aggravation Thy Name Is Bureaucracy

For my new job -- yes, I did get it -- I require a chauffeur's license. So, I called the DMV, BMV, DOT, SOS, SOB, whatever name you happen to call the state agency in charge of issuing driver's licenses. All I wanted to know was what test I need to take to get the license and if I need to make an appointment. I knew I would have to take the driving test. However, I wanted to make sure I would not have to take a written test or (horror of all horrors) another eye test.

The woman I spoke with first asked me for my driver's license number. I had already stated the purpose of my call when she asked this. When I gave it to her she said it would not come up. When I tried to give the number to her again she got impatient obviously annoyed that I thought she was so incompetent as to enter the number wrong. What was I supposed to do? Either she entered it wrong, or my driver's license is a fluke that will not come up in their system. I'm invisible to my government, as Hillary would say -- and boy, would I like to be invisible to my government. So, next she asked for my name, then she wanted to know why I was calling again. I went through it again. I need to get a non-commercial chauffeur's license and wanted to know what tests I would have to take. She asked me if I was going to be a taxi driver. Well, no. I explained my situation and she got even more annoyed. She asked me if I was going to be driving a huge truck. Ah, why didn't she say that to begin with?

I finally figured out that all I need is a driving test and I have to show up and take it, no appointment necessary. But I ask you, why is it that bureaucrats must come up with every way of beating it around the bush before they can ask you a simple, direct question? Also, why is it that I have to pay to get my driver's license? Don't I pay enough in taxes already? Shouldn't the single, only service that my county government seems to provide be paid for by the fact that they take my hard earned money? Lastly, why do I have to jump through hoops to get this license? I can drive. I have a perfect record, shouldn't that tell these idiots something? Anyone? Anyone? Bueller?