Monday, September 15, 2008

Here I Am

I am such a bum. Again. I know. I tried to swear off my bum-hood about a year ago. But it came back. I guess I will have to start working on that again.

I quit my job as many of you know. Now I am in the process of not only getting a new one, but figuring out what it is I really want to do for a career. So far it's looking like I might go back to school. I am not sure. I am tired of analyzing and analyzing.

That's me. I always analyze everything. I take my good old time. I sleep on it. Then I think about it all day. Then I sleep on it again. There are factors I know I need to consider that I have not considered. I have to keep thinking. Eventually the path will become clear.

No, it won't. The truth is, sometimes you have to make a decision based on how well you know yourself and your interests. Nobody can make that decision for me. I need to take a step forward. But that would mean I have to stop analyzing and start doing. That's scary. Freaking scary.

Someone once said (I paraphrase) that if you think something through carefully enough the answer will become clear. Whomever that was I wish he or she had not said that. It is good to think things through. But frankly, thinking just leads to more thinking. Thinking is not what I really need to do in terms of getting a new career. At least, not at the moment.

5 comments:

tully said...

There is wisdom in admitting that you don't know what you want. That is the start of philosophy.

Arellanova said...

In the great words of the Nike advertisement department....
"Just do it!"

:P

Esther said...

Tully: I know I want to make money. I think that excludes philosophy. ;oD

Arella: Just do what? That is the question.

tully said...

You are convinced you want to make money. Personally, I don't buy it for a minute. No one wants merely to survive. We all want power, and for lack of a better idea, we turn to money as the source of power. It doesn't take much reflection to see the fault in this pursuit- the hard part is being honest with yourself.

Esther said...

Tully: In addition to wanting a nice, quiet life, a family, a job that I enjoy doing, and power, I want money. That probably explains me a little better than my earlier comment. I'm really not sure what I'd do with power. But I'd buy more nice clothes if I had money. (I'm being somewhat facetious here.)