What The Halloween?

I learned recently that Iowan children do not go Trick or Treating on Halloween. No, they go crawling all over lawns begging for candy and telling dumb jokes the night before Halloween. Here we have an absolutely perfect week weatherwise and Halloween is on a Friday evening. Not even a school night. What more could you ask for?

I don't know. I'd like to ask the little beggars to stay away from my house while I'm trying to watch my Smallville. This season is a gem so far. A gem. But no, I'll have my tv on and I'll be handing out candy to small children with sticky fingers. Plus this is the flu season. Maybe I should dress up as a mad scientist and wear rubber gloves.

The other odd Iowan tradition is that children tell jokes instead of saying, "Trick or treat!" I thought this sounded like tons of fun. Until I found out that Iowans hand out candy the night before Halloween -- a Thursday this year. Now, I'm not cruel enough to shutter my windows and sit in the dark house all evening. Especially since I risk getting my house egged or saran-wrapped before morning . . . I'll give out the candy. No problemo. I think I'll take a page from my buddy Tracy's book, however. In short, I could give bad candy for the stupid jokes and good candy for the funny jokes.

I'll be going to the store tomorrow morning to get the candy. I guess I'll decide what to do for sure at that time.

I Have To Write A Blog Post

I have been working on a thoughtful post for several days. Here's hoping I finish it sometime soon and post it. In the meantime let me fill you in on how my life is going.

I am still waiting for the stupid bank to sell me the house I want. They take forever and a day.

I am reading that book "What Color Is Your Parachute?" and doing all the exercises. I decided it's time I figure out what I want to be now that I'm all grown up. Jumping from job idea to job idea just isn't working for me. I want to figure out what will keep my interest for at least 10 or 15 years. So, I'm doing a lot of thinking and processing. I have been thinking about grad school for a while. But I really want to take a step back and make sure that's where I want to go. The only problem with this process is the time it takes. I have the patience of Job when it comes to everyone else, but not for myself. Far too much of a perfectionist, I guess.

I am reading John Scalzi's "The Android's Dream" and it is funny.

In Smallville news the season finale was this past week. Guess what! Lana's gone! I have never been happier. She exited Clark's life. It was actually kind of sad and anticlimactic the way they broke up. I had always wanted her to get eaten by a White Martian. So much for dreams coming true . . .

Election what? I don't know what you're talking about? I haven't been keeping up because I have no interest in any of the candidates. Also, wtf is John McCain talking about global warming and how he's not going to abandon the cause when the value of our dollar is sinking down the toilet? I mean, people. Perspective. Puhleeze. Global warming is caused by the earth's core heating up and sunspot activity. I don't think taking a few cars off the road are going to change that. Science is such a lost art.

Oh yes, and my car broke down this past week. Fortunately, it was a small problem and it didn't cost much to fix.

Last week my church had a long term ministry planning workshop and it was kind of cool. I made a couple new friends (finally). So, yay for me on that. The news isn't all bad. See.

Back to work now.

On One Condition

The worst thing a person can do to another is offer conditional love. I submit that it is the cause of much sorrow and darkness. Perhaps the greatest cause. I would rather be hated than be the recipient of conditional love. To say that affection will only come if the object of affection does what the giver wants is a sentence of living death. You think I am being too extreme? Well, let's partake of an example then.

My favorite tv show is Smallville (I'm sure you all knew that). The relationship on Smallville that most interests me is the one between Lex Luthor and his father Lionel Luthor. It portrays the results of conditional love. I know, this is fictional, but stories can often illustrate to us what we find confusing in real life. When we first meet Lex he is the subject of his father's will. Lex is strong willed and emotional. He desires to be a good person and the audience cannot help but like him. Lionel is ruthless in his treatment of Lex. He places Lex in charge of a Luthor Corp plant and demands Lex achieve perfection in all his business dealings. Lex tries passive aggressive strategies to bypass his father's inflexible standards. Somehow Lionel is always one step ahead of Lex. It's like a horrible game between father and son. Nothing Lex does is good enough for Lionel. Lionel pits Lex against himself just to teach Lex how to be strong. We get a few flashback moments between Lex and Lionel. What we learn is that Lionel has always told Lex that he is weak and pathetic. That's how he tries to be a good father to Lex. Even when Lex does the right thing Lionel can find some mistake in it. Lionel himself is committing the greatest mistake a father can commit: conditional love. It is a mistake that teaches Lex he must be a perfect son or forever live ashamed and angry. Later in the series Lionel turns his life around and tries to reach out to his son. He is eventually able to offer the unconditional love that Lex never knew. But then it is too late. Lex is a bitter young man who refuses to believe his father could love him. Lex has taken conditional love to the next level. He distrusts everyone around him. He drives away even his closest friends because he constantly manipulates them in order to keep their friendships. And they tire of it. He is a lonely, sad, dark, obsessive, manipulative person.

So I repeat, the worst thing you can do to another human being is offer love based on their performance of your standards or wishes.

At the same time unconditional love can be taken to an extreme or used in an unhealthy manner. It's kind of like the battered wife principle: don't allow the abuser back into your life without proof of full repentance because that's unhealthy. Don't allow someone to take advantage of you just because you love them. Limits must exist in order for unconditional love to work. Those limits, however, should never be more important than the love we have for those around us. First offer the love, then the limits. If you go the other way round the person will probably never realize you care.

Do Not Want!!!11!!!

Warning: This post contains a major Smallville spoiler. If you are not watching Season 7 and you intend to get it on dvd you and watch it later than you may not want to continue reading. Remember, you were warned.

**Spoiler Space**

It was one of the best Smallville episodes I have ever seen. It was on par with Justice from Season 6 where several JLA characters team up to take on Lex Luthor. It was on par with the episode in Season 5 where Clark lives a day twice and Jonathan Kent passes away. It was better than the Season 6 finale where we are duped into thinking that Lana Lang has died (that would have been the best episode ever if only it had been true -- take the emo Lana, take it and go). It was even better than the Lexana wedding -- which was mainly good for reasons of writing and execution than storyline. The opener was the most stunning and intriguing opener I have seen on any Smallville yet. Lionel Luther died before the theme song. I cannot believe it. My favorite character is gone. I think he might be my all time favorite tv show character. John Glover's portrayal of him was so poignant, so ruthless, so amazing. Everything Lionel did was in character. Thus, it was in character for him to die the way he died: at the hands of Lex Luthor. Lionel never would have expected Lex to go that far. Not even when he hated Lex in the earlier seasons. I was stunned. I am stunned. I actually cried. Yeah, I'll get over it. But I don't know how I can keep watching without Lionel. They took the best part of the show.

Then again, Clark stepped up to the plate like the hero he is meant to be. That was encouraging. And Lex has become superbly evil. This could make the show worth watching. Having so many main characters has got to be tough on the writers. The elimination of Lionel Luthor may help them focus on Clark becoming a superhero and Lex becoming the biggest baddie ever. Who knows? This could be good. *sniff* But that doesn't mean I have to happy right now. . .