. . . in case you didn't notice.
The title comes from a song by my favorite singing artist, eLi. I enjoy his music because the lyrics and the very sound is human. It is human in a sense that the Pharisees of Jesus' day would have mocked, if they understood English, which they did not. His music relates the depth and lostness of our own souls. It also reflects an awe of the one whose grace and mercy saves. It reminds me of two Bible passages: the parable of the Pharisee and the tax collector, and the thief on the cross. Every song of eLi's has the same heartfelt repentence exemplified by the tax collector in his prayer for mercy and the complete faith represented by the theif's desire to be remembered in Jesus' kingdom.
I chose to change the title, because the old one no longer represents my path in life nor my dreams. I have finally laid down my desire to be a politician and pushed it away. A wise man once spoke to me in the time of my utmost need. He said, "Esther, God gave you the desire for politics and He will either use that in you or remove it from you, there is nothing wrong with you having that desire." No, there is nothing wrong, and a part of it remains, but it is the better part. I fully intend to keep talking politics on this blog; to promote Mike Pence for president everywhere I go; to make my views known. But I'm not compromising any of those views ever again because I am worried about what people might say later in life when they read my prior opinions. That burden has been lifted from my shoulders and I am overjoyed. I do not have to worry about what I say anymore. Why don't I have to worry?
Because I want to be an artist and artists can say anything they want to say. Yup, I'm getting back into sculpting. I am also going to be a writer of fiction, and perhaps a political treatise or two. But it's all going to be point-blank me, none of it will be dumbed down because people might freak out later on. This change is the culmination of my thoughts recently and my inability to find any happiness in the walk I have been walking. There is a place in me where politics never made happy. But sculpting and writing make me excited to be alive. I feel freer than I have in ages, like a bird that had its little wings tied for so long that it had all but forgotten how to fly.
If you're worried, then I'll just say that by now you should know I am not a rabid, freaky conservative. If you haven't figured that out, then I'm sorry for you and you can go find a lake or something to dip your head in and cool off.
So, I changed my blog title.