Sunday, March 12, 2006

I Changed My Blog Title

. . . in case you didn't notice.

The title comes from a song by my favorite singing artist, eLi. I enjoy his music because the lyrics and the very sound is human. It is human in a sense that the Pharisees of Jesus' day would have mocked, if they understood English, which they did not. His music relates the depth and lostness of our own souls. It also reflects an awe of the one whose grace and mercy saves. It reminds me of two Bible passages: the parable of the Pharisee and the tax collector, and the thief on the cross. Every song of eLi's has the same heartfelt repentence exemplified by the tax collector in his prayer for mercy and the complete faith represented by the theif's desire to be remembered in Jesus' kingdom.

I chose to change the title, because the old one no longer represents my path in life nor my dreams. I have finally laid down my desire to be a politician and pushed it away. A wise man once spoke to me in the time of my utmost need. He said, "Esther, God gave you the desire for politics and He will either use that in you or remove it from you, there is nothing wrong with you having that desire." No, there is nothing wrong, and a part of it remains, but it is the better part. I fully intend to keep talking politics on this blog; to promote Mike Pence for president everywhere I go; to make my views known. But I'm not compromising any of those views ever again because I am worried about what people might say later in life when they read my prior opinions. That burden has been lifted from my shoulders and I am overjoyed. I do not have to worry about what I say anymore. Why don't I have to worry?

Because I want to be an artist and artists can say anything they want to say. Yup, I'm getting back into sculpting. I am also going to be a writer of fiction, and perhaps a political treatise or two. But it's all going to be point-blank me, none of it will be dumbed down because people might freak out later on. This change is the culmination of my thoughts recently and my inability to find any happiness in the walk I have been walking. There is a place in me where politics never made happy. But sculpting and writing make me excited to be alive. I feel freer than I have in ages, like a bird that had its little wings tied for so long that it had all but forgotten how to fly.

If you're worried, then I'll just say that by now you should know I am not a rabid, freaky conservative. If you haven't figured that out, then I'm sorry for you and you can go find a lake or something to dip your head in and cool off.

So, I changed my blog title.


little-cicero said...

I can understand your changing the title, but I'm not sure I like the new one (as if my opinion matters). I know this blog is for you, but the title might imply that you are a hypocrite, which for the most part I assume you are not.

little-cicero said...

Oh, by the way, I hope you return to Andy's blog. I can't stand being all alone in a sea of homosexual liberals, many of whom want me banned over there. I don't think Andy meant to be mean on his blog, he was just a bit too's not as if I have had any better. His reply to your condemnation was much more positive than that of his readers.

Esther said...

On my blog title, it does imply that I am a hypocrite, but only inasmuch as anyone else is. I think I'll leave it for now, because I have no better ideas and I like it.

As for going back to Andy's blog, I really don't intend to. I'm sorry, for you mainly, because I often agree with what you say over there, but every time I have said something there it has not been respected in the slightest. I never asked for anyone to change their opinion on anything, only to respect my opinion. It astounds me that I got shouted down when I am almost a moderate and willing to listen to their opinions and take the good points out of them. The responses I received (and the ones you often receive) are insulting to my intelligence and to the nature of my objections/thoughts. The fact that people were picking apart sentences and turning them into ideas that they could not possibly be twisted into (and it happens to you too, all the time) angered me. Andy may have been nicer (I don't know, I'm not going back to read the replies, I don't need to see them), but that will not erase the first response to my points that disrespected my position and proved the very things I was trying to criticize. If, on first response, he acts like that, then any other response is somewhat dishonest the way I see it. I do not accept people being nicer later on, I accept apologies and real respect. I see no reason to return. Frankly, I'm not going to apologize for sticking to my guns anymore. I'll say it on my own blog a) because I can and b) because it's not a forum full of people who enjoy willfully misunderstanding me.

little-cicero said...

I have reread the comments, and you are right to be angry. Here's what I wrote over at Last Debate:

Well, I've reread the comments between yourself and Esther, and I think that you were simply wrong. It's not that you were being obstinate, which you were, it is that you did not even take her comment seriously, and the fact that you don't even understand why she was offended shows a weakness of character in you. I love this blog, as well as the gauntlet of criticism, but try to keep in mind that sarcasm is not to be used to replace honest debate, rather it is to supplement it.

That being said, from what I have read, you have not really apologized to Esther, and it is best that you do so, lest you end up with only one conservative on this blog. Of course, without conservatives, this blog would cease to be the Last "Debate" and would simply be full of "Ameners". Also, she's simply a nice, intelligent person who deserves your respect and consideration.

Esther said...

That was definitely way too nice of you. Thanks. I don't expect anything from the whole exchange though. As far as I'm concerned it's over, done with and I'm fine. I'm beginning to understand why Ann Coulter is the way she is. But I'd rather not be like her so I don't care if the people at that particular blog apologize or not, really. Staying away will probably make me a less bitter person all around. I've also lost enough respect for liberals in general that I might not comment much if I went back anyway.

little-cicero said...

Always remember that they are well intentioned and compassionate at heart.

Let's agree to find a moderate liberal blog on which to debate civilly and honestly. Deal? I can always use more liberals for my blog anyways!

Esther said...

Okay, if you find a moderate liberal blog I'll come debate there. I have a very good friend who is a moderate liberal and I have every respect for moderates. It's the fringe that's got me a little disillusioned these days. I also had a very good friend (who dropped off the face of the planet or something) who was on the far left. Strangely enough we could talk about controversial stuff with never any hard feelings. It is respecting other people's rights to their own opinion and to free speech that makes the difference and makes a good dialogue.