Thursday, July 28, 2005

Waiting for the Ring

This post has nothing to do with getting engaged since I am already married and have both my rings. It also has nothing to do with funny short people who have hair on the tops of their feet and are formally known as Hobbits. And nothing to do with a big, creepy, red eye wreathed in flames.

I am just frustrated because I do not have a job yet. I sit here all day waiting for my phone to ring and praying that I will get the perfect job for me. At least, it seems like the perfect job for me. But still no ring. Now I am almost jumping up and down in frustration. Please, please, please, I need a job and I want that job. I feel like a three year old or something. Except that there is much more on the line than whether or not I get a piece of candy in Meijer. There are loans to be paid and bills that keep coming.

Worst of all I am terribly restless. I need stress. I never thought I would say that, but it is true. In order for me to be happy with my life I need at least some stress. I do not need too much stress, I need just enough stress. I enjoyed working at Meijer even though it was stressful because when work was over I could leave the stress go home and vege-out. I had a reason to feel relieved and tired. I was not too stressed to work on my other projects. In fact, I had more reason to work on my other projects because they were stress reducers. Here I am tired with no reason, I do nothing but sit around, make food and read. I need a continuous project. I have things that I could do, but since I feel no challenge from the working part of my life to relieve stress I do not do those things.

My only ongoing theme seems to be waiting for the phone to ring.

1 comment:

Erin said...

It'll work out, Esther, I know it will! You crack me up. You are so composed with somethings, but you are so off the wall with others. I know what you mean about the stress. College almost always had the perfect level of stress. *sigh* I miss it and my awesome roomie that came with it!